These tips will help ease your stress as you celebrate your first winter holidays with your in-laws.
The winter holidays are fast approaching. You probably started making your shopping list, buying holiday decorations, and basking in that newlywed glow of spending your first holiday as an engaged or married couple. But all of that holiday cheer can also bring a lot of stress. If this is the first year you’re celebrating with your in-laws, we have you covered with some tips for your first winter holidays with your in-laws.
Know what topics to avoid
You probably know what topics you should avoid at the dinner table by now, but it’s always a good idea to check with your spouse ahead of time. This year could be a tense year to talk politics, so it may be best to steer clear of that subject.
As you’re getting the lowdown from your spouse about their family, definitely ask if there are any chatty family members that may chew your ear off all night! By planning ahead of time with your spouse, you’ll be able to ease any tension and start building a good relationship with your in-laws.
While you’re hitting your spouse up for the cheat sheet on their family, come up with a code word or signal if you need help in an awkward conversation. Or even if it’s just time to go.
MORE: How to handle political differences with your in-laws
Be mindful of religious beliefs
Find out what sort of religious traditions their family observes. If you grew up Catholic and their family is Jewish, learn some of the traditions ahead of time. Find out if there are any foods they may not be able to eat during the holidays. If you’ll be celebrating at their home, find out what is appropriate to bring. And take the opportunity to learn more about their religion. Ask questions, and really listen to what they have to say. You’ll learn new traditions, which will make the following year’s celebrations easier.
In addition to religious traditions, find out if there are any other holiday traditions they may have. Perhaps they have a Secret Santa every year. Find out how you can take part, and seek help from your spouse on gift-giving advice
Know their body language.
Follow your spouse’s lead! Are they huggers? Kiss on the cheek? Or maybe just a polite handshake? Let your spouse say hello or good-bye first to see how everyone is greeted. If you follow their lead, you can avoid any awkward moments with relatives you might be meeting for the first time.
Have some good topics planned ahead of time
Learn some good conversation starters. As mentioned above, find out some hot-button topics to avoid, such as politics or even a particular sports team that might get people riled up. See what you have in common with your in-laws and focus on those things to talk about.
MORE: How to Split the Holidays Between Your Family and Your In-Laws
Bring a gift
If you’ll be a guest at your in-laws, offer to bring something. A dessert? An appetizer? Fruit? Perhaps just a holiday decoration they can use around their home. If you can cook or bake, consider something from scratch for extra brownie points. This blogger won over her in-laws by bringing her now-famous snickerdoodles to their first holiday celebration together. They are now a staple at every get-together.
Offer to help
And just as you would at any winter holiday celebration you attend, offer to help in some way. Either with set-up or clean-up. Offer your compliments up to the chef. And always say thank you for hosting!
If you’re hosting…
If you’re the host of your first winter holiday with your in-laws, find out ahead of time if there are any food allergies or dietary restrictions. Be sure to include dishes that all of their relatives will enjoy. And speaking of food, be sure to have enough! The worst thing during a big holiday would be to run out of food. Remember, you can always have your guests take home leftovers (especially if there are delicious homemade treats)!
Is this the first time your spouse’s mother isn’t hosting a winter holiday? Make her feel special. Include her in the planning. Ask her to bring her special dish that everyone raves about. And if you feel comfortable, ask her for the recipe so you can carry on the tradition.
And remember, with all the added stress, you and your spouse might be on edge. It’s important to keep any disagreements away from the guests.
MORE: How to Best Use the Winter Holidays for Wedding Planning
In the end, remember to relax and enjoy yourself. Be present during the winter holidays. Since it’s your first as an engaged or married couple, take the time to reflect on the year, and what your future holds. The winter holidays are a great time to honor and learn the traditions of each other’s families. And as the years go by, you can look back and incorporate those special moments into your new winter holiday traditions.
