Rabbi Brian Denker

Hi there!  I am Rabbi Brian, an independent Rabbi and Interfaith lifecycle officiant servicing the New York Metropolitan Area including Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island, Connecticut, and New Jersey. I look forward to meeting and developing a meaningful relationship with you.

I have extensive experience working with couples and families from all walks of life who identify as Jewish, Interfaith, Same-Sex, and non-affiliated and who are looking to celebrate their one-of-a-kind relationships. It is my goal to bridge age-old traditions within our more modern world, working to create special and meaningful experiences for you that will become memories that will last a lifetime. 

I am an active member of the International Federation of Rabbis and serve as a Chaplain with the New York State Chaplain Taskforce, the New York State Fraternal Order of Police, and an associate member Chaplain with the National Conference of Shomrim Societies. In these roles, I am dedicated to serving the Jewish community, advocating for policies and initiatives that promote diversity, acceptance, and inclusivity for all members of society. It would be an absolute honor and privilege to connect with you and partake in the jubilation of your upcoming celebrations.

My path into the Rabbinate was sparked by a personal experience of my own. I encountered significant challenges in finding a Rabbi to officiate at my own wedding, a union between two men from different faith backgrounds. This experience was a turning point, igniting a conviction within me. I firmly believe that no individual should ever face the dilemma of choosing between authenticity and self-acceptance. No one should endure exclusion from the cherished traditions and rituals of our heritage due to who we love.  

As a multi-year and multi-award recipient, I am highly recommended by multiple wedding resources and communities and have been praised for my friendliness, personalized ceremonies, and ability to incorporate both Jewish and interfaith traditions. Reviewers appreciate my attention to detail, sense of humor, and ability to make ceremonies meaningful and memorable. I have been described as responsive, flexible, and caring, and many guests are always impressed by my level of professionalism.

Please feel free to visit my website directly for real time feedback on many meaningful and memorable moments as shared in the many positive reviews left by past and present couples that I have had the distinct honor and privilege of working with.

I have extensive experience officiating Jewish, interfaith, LGBTQA+ (Same-Sex), and non-denominational weddings, among others lifecycle events. I will work hand-in-hand with you in order to create a truly personal and unique ceremony , including welcoming to-be-weds to write their own vows, among one of the many ways to create a truly one-of-a-kind ceremony. I am committed to providing couples with all of the guidance and support they need to be successful as they embark on a new chapter of life together. 

As an openly gay Rabbi, I devote much of my work and Rabbinate to causes which support diversity, tolerance and inclusion. I am an active member of the International Federation of Rabbis, a Chaplain with the New York State Chaplain Taskforce and New York State Fraternal Order of Police, as well as a member Chaplain with National Conference of Shomrim Societies.  I am also a preferred in-house and go-to officiant for several New York area wedding venues.

Will you co-officiate?
GLADLY! But let me share my very personal thought on that matter…I completely respect and gladly serve any couple who feels the importance of having two officiates, and I have happily and successfully been a co-officiate. However, in some cases, the presence of two officiates could give the perception of a division of faith. What I believe to be remarkable, however, is when one officiate can blend two faiths, with grace and meaning, bringing a true sense of unity to your ceremony. Either way, it is my pleasure and my honor to serve my couples, in whatever way they wish to be served!

​Can we create our own ceremony?
Absolutely! I am your facilitator. You hire me to perform the wedding YOU want to create! I am your guide. I help you understand what each component of a religious or spiritual wedding entails, and you choose how you want to incorporate it. I guide you through the order of the ceremony, and to help you envision your wedding, exactly the way you want it to be.

Our family structure is complicated, how do we handle the processional? 
Many families today are mixed, and the relationships are often blurred. We discuss all the people you would like to include, and I have many innovative ways to include the people you love, creating a ceremony that highlights love and harmony. No worries or stress allowed!

How will you get to know us?
I schedule regular sessions, meeting with you at least two-three times before your big day, and have you complete very in-depth questionnaires, so that I am able to really connect with you on many levels. When your guests leave your wedding or ceremony, they will feel as if we have known each other for years!

​Do we need a rehearsal?
Most of the time – no. Rehearsals themselves are rather outdated. Your coordinator and I will have everyone prepared as we line up, and each person will know exactly where to go. But if you wish to have one – feel free!

We do not belong to a synagogue, where can we have our ceremony?
Anywhere that accommodates the number of people you wish to have! Most of my families hold their lifecycle events at hotels, restaurants, private homes, on the beach, anywhere you want!

We are not religious, but we want to include a few traditions that are meaningful to us.
You are not alone! Today’s couples want a personalized wedding that reflects who they are, without the obligation of outdated rules and traditions. Our traditions of our faiths have beautiful modern meaning, and your ceremony can be whatever you want it to be. I support and guide you through the process by incorporating the meaning and clearly explaining to all your guests, so everyone feels welcome, and an active part of your special day.

What makes you different?
Your ceremony is the most important part of your wedding, and it is of utmost importance for your officiant to set the tone for your event. I am warm, loving, personal, spiritual, dynamic, and flexible. I have exceptional speaking skills, a loving heart, and add lots of fun to your ceremony!

Also, and this is one aspect is very important that most couples do not think about...
Unlike many other officiants out there who solely operate as a "wedding officiant" booking sometimes two or more weddings in one day, it is my practice to only book one wedding or life-cycle event on any given day. Doing so allows me flexibility in my schedule so that, should there be bad weather, traffic, the late arrival of a special guest, etc. by making your wedding or life-cycle event my only commitment for the day, I can ensure that I am able to be there onsite with you, completely focused on just you and your day until your ceremony is completed. Other officiants with more than one booking for the day are usually on a tight schedule, rushing to leave one wedding to get to another and are often inflexible in being able to accommodate the unforeseen that can arise.

As next steps...

Let's plan a Zoom meeting to discuss your marriage hopes and wedding day. This will be a chance for us to connect individually and as a couple. You'll also get to know me as your Rabbi and officiant. This meeting will help us determine if we're the right match to create a meaningful and memorable start to your marriage.

Ideally, I aim to meet with couples I might marry at least twice (if not more as needed) before the wedding. The first meeting is an introduction, while the second goes deeper into crafting a personalized ceremony. We'll celebrate both of you, respect your backgrounds and traditions, and honor your families coming together. Often, this process reveals new discoveries about each other. These meetings will build a trusting relationship. My hope is that you'll feel comfortable turning to me not only at the beginning of your journey together, but also during other moments of joy in your lives.