BOLI Blog

Should You Plan a Jack and Jill Shower?

A Jack and Jill shower is a great way to include your fiancé and other male relatives.

A wedding is a celebration of you and your partner’s love. So, why wouldn’t you want to celebrate all events leading up to your wedding day with your fiancé? While a traditional bridal shower includes all of the strong females in your life, a “Jack and Jill” shower is a coed and can include not just your fiancé, but other important male relatives and friends. So the question is, should you plan a Jack and Jill shower? Here are a few things to consider.

Engagement Party vs. Jack and Jill Shower

Yes, engagement parties are a great way to celebrate your recent engagement surrounded by your loved ones – both male and female. So why have a Jack and Jill shower too? Showers are traditionally a way to help out couples prepare for marriage, as guests give gifts they can use to build their home. An engagement party can be more relaxed with less focus on gifts and more focus on celebrating the couple.

Think About Your Guest List

Traditionally, the guest list for your bridal shower would include close female relatives and friends who are on your wedding guest list. And while it shouldn’t be your full wedding invite list, it probably shouldn’t include guests who aren’t invited to the wedding. For a Jack and Jill shower, you might want to include your father, future father-in-law, brothers, grandfathers and, of course, your future spouse. Remember, just like a traditional shower, the number of guests should be smaller than your engagement party and wedding.

MORE: 15 Unique Bridal Shower Ideas

Timing of the Shower

Just as with a traditional shower, you’ll want to consider throwing it about one to three months before your wedding. You’ll also want to consider other events such as the bachelor and/or bachelorette parties. If you have a lot of out of town guests, consider having the parties closer together. But if guests are all local, consider spacing the parties out so guests can comfortably attend everything.

Who Throws a Jack and Jill Shower?

Again, traditionally, the maid of honor or bride’s mother would throw a bridal shower. But now that times have changed and coed showers are more common, others can pitch in and help plan. In fact, if your Jack and Jill shower is the first among your family and friends, it would be beneficial to help plan things yourself and set your expectations.

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What Happens at a Jack and Jill Shower?

Honestly, anything you want! You can keep the shower casual, where your close family and friends can mingle and get to know each other before the wedding. Or keep it more traditional, play some fun games and have some laughs. Should you open gifts in front of everyone? That’s completely up to you. More recently, some brides have skipped opening gifts, while others had a blast sharing their gifts with their loved ones.

MORE: Best Shower/Rehearsal/Bachelorette Locations for Long Island Weddings

Ultimately, you and your spouse need to decide what’s best for you – like you would with other aspects of wedding planning. If your spouse loves the idea of you having a traditional shower and would rather just show up at the end to help bring your gifts home, then a traditional bridal shower would be the way to go. But if you both love the idea of being showered together, then a Jack and Jill shower would be the perfect option. As long as you both agree, the day will be perfect.