Attending a Wedding? Don’t Make These Social Media Mistakes

These social media etiquette tips will make you the best wedding guest.

Weddings are such a fun time – we get to celebrate the happy couple and share in their special day. So it’s only natural that we’d want to post some great content from their wedding to our socials. But we need to remember – it’s our friend or family member’s big day, not ours.

Some couples may choose to keep their wedding intimate, which could mean staying off social media entirely. Here are some ways to avoid making these social media mistakes.

Mind the Signs

Oftentimes, couples will post signs if they want an unplugged ceremony. Make sure to adhere to this rule, as it’s important to the couple that their guests be fully present. Besides, by putting your phones away, you won’t block the professional photographers as they capture the special moments.

MORE: The Pros and Cons of Smartphones at Your Ceremony

Don’t Live Stream

Unless you’re asked by the bride and groom, do NOT live stream any portion of their wedding day. This means everything – not even that fun flash mob that happened.

Don’t Post Without Permission

This goes along with live streaming. Don’t post any photos you take unless the bride and groom have given the OK. If you’re not sure, wait until after the big day and ask their permission. But respect their privacy if they still say no.

Don’t Make Your Own Announcement

Don’t steal anyone’s thunder! If you have your own announcement, let it wait until at least a few days after the wedding. This is their day, and they’ve worked hard (and probably spent a lot of money) to put everything together. It’s important to be mindful of outshining them.

MORE: 40 Questions to Ask Your Photographer

Avoid Unflattering Photos

If you get the go-ahead to post photos on social media, make sure the bride and groom look their best. In fact, try to use photos where everyone looks their best. Avoid publishing any unflattering photos.

Keep Comments Positive

Once you’ve posted photos or messages about the wedding, monitor any comments. You want to make sure everything written is positive, as it’s a joyous occasion.

MORE: What is a Wedding Content Creator, and Should You Hire One?

Use the Hashtag

If you’re ready to share, check if there’s a hashtag for the wedding. If there is, make sure to use it! This way, the bride and groom can look back on all those great memories.

The most important thing is that you’re sharing content in celebration of two people starting their next chapter. Photos are great, but memories last a lifetime. So put your phone down, get out on the dance floor and enjoy every second of this special day.

The Lannin, a newly-renovated venue nestled at Eisenhower Park Golf Course, offers a bespoke wedding experience.

If you’re looking for a wedding venue on beautiful grounds, that’s newly renovated and caters to one bride at a time, then The Lannin, a BOLI preferred vendor, should be at the top of your list. The property is located in the heart of Nassau County at the Eisenhower Park Golf Course, which offers a picturesque backdrop for all of your wedding photos.

Brand New Space

The Lannin, which opened in September 2023, is the former home of The Carltun. “We completely renovated the building,” says co-owner Elias Trahanas. “From brand new kitchens, bathrooms to the flooring and our spacious ballroom, everything is brand new.”

From the moment a bride walks in, they’ll be wowed by the grand ballroom, accommodating intimate gatherings as small as 30 guests and grand affairs of up to 450 guests, as well as the glass room that can be a space for your ceremony or cocktail hour. “With our glass room, all of the windows can open up to our garden with a brand-new fountain for an outdoor ceremony,” says Trahanas. “Or, if the weather isn’t cooperating, we can close the glass windows, but you still feel like you’re outdoors.”

Upstairs from the ballroom are the bride and groom suites, where you can get ready for your big day, take a quick break or touch-up during the festivities.

One Bride at a Time

Since The Lannin hosts one wedding a day, you won’t have to worry about rushing your event to make room for another. “You show up in the morning and stay the entire day,” says Trahanas. You also won’t have to worry about sharing spaces with other parties. “We offer exclusivity to our brides,” says Trahanas. “And we’re there with you every step of the way to help plan the wedding of your dreams.”

Blank Canvas

The Lannin offers a classy and modern feel, with rolling greens, fountains and elegant landscaping. And it’s all yours to decorate as you please! Do you want a cocktail lounge feel? Not a problem. A full black tie-Gatsby affair? The Lannin staff will make it happen. “Our space is a blank canvas. And our brides have the flexibility to create the most customized wedding of their dreams,” Trahanas explains. “We really look forward to bringing the unique ideas that brides have to life.”

Executive Chef

After your tour of The Lannin, be sure to sit down for a meal at their restaurant, The Union, where you can taste some of executive chef Tom Gloster’s creations. “Gloster really brings an elevated a la carte experience to The Lannin,” says Trahanas. From prime filets for dinner to hand-rolled sushi cocktail hour station, The Lannin’s menu offers something for every bride. And just like the space itself, you get a bespoke experience when creating your custom menu. “We’re definitely open to trying new things on our menu.”

Gloster changes up the menus seasonally, and menus can be tailored to specific dietary preferences or restrictions. They also offer Kosher options, thanks to a separate Kosher kitchen.

Premium Venue

This premium bridal venue also offers expert staff that will cater to your needs. From planning and prep to the big day, their staff will ensure that everything runs smoothly. “Moe, our head of banquet, brings more than 20 years of experience in wedding planning. He’ll meet with the brides a few weeks before their wedding to make sure their day goes by without a hitch,” says Trahanas. “It’s important for brides to trust us to elevate their wedding day.”

The Lannin is truly a one-of-a-kind Long Island wedding venue. They will create a truly bespoke experience and provide a modern, intimate backdrop for your big day!

Say cheese! Add some pizazz to your wedding thanks to these top-rated Long Island photo booth companies

Your professional photos are going to be amazing, but there’s a downside — it will likely be a few weeks (or months) until you’ll get to see them. Photo booths are a popular wedding addition for just that reason! Your guests will have a fun keepsake from your big day, and you’ll have a few pictures to take home immediately. 

Gone are the days of the big, clunky machines with just enough room inside for two. Photo booths have gone high-tech with interesting props, 360 cameras, and stylistic features that produce truly unique images.

Ready to book a photo booth for your wedding? Here are 7 of the best Long Island photo booth vendors, sure to bring out the smiles from your guests.

• MORE: 6 of the Best Boudoir Photographers on Long Island

Long Island Mirror Booth

From mirror booths and 360 booths to flower walls and even marquee lettering, Long Island Mirror Booth does it all! They offer customizable packages to ensure you get everything you need. 

 

Fresh Face Photobooths

Fresh Face Photobooth owner Jessica considers herself your new booth bestie! As a graphic designer, she’s an expert at matching your booth and images to your wedding day vibe.

 

Sweet Affairs

Sweet Affairs brings a unique and personalized touch to every event that they attend. They’re passionate about capturing the special moments that make your day unforgettable, and love going above and beyond to make sure everything is perfect!

 

Long Beach Photo Bus

You’ve seen photo booths, but have you seen a photo BUS? Long Beach Photo Bus provides a truly unique photo op for all your guests. Hop in one of their VW wagons for an unforgettable experience!

 

Snapphoto

Snapphoto provides high-quality photos, gifs, boomerangs, specialized videos, and physical and digital prints! If you’re limited on space, try their virtual backgrounds or even their brand new audio guestbooks.

 

Rjbooths

Rjbooths’ goal is to make your wedding day perfect and exactly as you envision. They specialize in curated props from funny to elegant, and love bringing the laughs and joy to your big day.

 

For the Mems Photo Booth

Inspired by their own engagement and wedding, owners Patrick and Korey started For the Mems Photo Booth to help others capture every beautiful moment. Take your wedding to the next level with their Glam booth!

 

 

Even if your wedding was great overall, it’s normal to fixate on the things that went wrong.

Once your wedding is over and you’ve begun to settle into married life, it can be easy to fall into a post-wedding funk. You may start to notice that you’re feeling anxious, thinking about things you could have done differently, or fixating on everything that went wrong that day. All of these are normal feelings for a bride. You spent the past several months (or even years) planning your big day. It’s a stressful process that takes a lot of energy, so it’s only natural to start overanalyzing your day after the fact. Thankfully, there are some things you can do to ease your post-wedding anxiety.

Recognize Your Feelings

You may find yourself pouring over the little details, just as you did while planning your wedding. This could cause feelings of sadness or anger towards your partner or friends. You may not be able to concentrate at work as you get back to reality. It’s important to recognize these feelings and explore their origins. Take some time for yourself to relax and de-stress.

Stay Off Social Media

OK – this one can be tough, but we all know we can go down rabbit holes on social media. Perhaps your friends haven’t posted any photos of your wedding, and it’s weeks later. Or maybe you posted some photos and didn’t get as much engagement as you had hoped.

Just stop! Don’t be so focused on social media. Remember the compliments you got on your wedding day, and how great it was to be surrounded by your loved ones. Just because it’s not on social media doesn’t mean it didn’t happen! It did, and it was perfect.

MORE: Post wedding blues? You’re not alone

Talk to Your Spouse

One of the best things about being married is the fact that you always have a sounding board. Use the opportunity during a quiet dinner to talk about your post-wedding anxiety. Perhaps there are things your spouse can suggest to ease your mind. Or, even better, you can talk through your thoughts and worries – and figure out ways to work through that anxiety together.

Look to the Future

Remember — you can’t go back in time. So instead of focusing on the past, look to your future. Think about smaller things like planning trips with your spouse, or bigger things like starting a family. Once you start focusing on the future, it should help to ease your post-wedding anxiety.

MORE: I’m a Shy Bride – How Do I Handle Being the Center of Attention?

Plan a Girls Night

Throughout wedding planning you had your bride tribe with you, every step of the way. Now that your wedding is over, everyone has fallen back into their old routines. So reach out to your friends and plan a girls night. Talk about anything and everything! And if your wedding comes up, open up about your post-wedding anxiety. They may have some ideas to help you through it.

Remember the Good Parts

When you start thinking about how you could have done things differently, take a breath and remember that what happened, happened. Every time you fixate on something that didn’t go as planned, think about something that did. You’ll most likely realize that there were far more wonderful moments than not-so-good ones.

Seek Professional Help

If you find that your post-wedding anxiety is affecting your daily life or lasting longer than you would like, you might want to seek some professional help. A mental health professional can help you understand your feelings and offer ways to manage stress and anxiety.

MORE: After It Was Over, I Realized the Small Stuff Didn’t Matter

You spent a lot of time and energy on your wedding, and it’s common to feel like there’s now a void in your life. Remember that no wedding day will ever go EXACTLY as planned. But you have a great support group — not only with your spouse, friends and family, but within Brides of Long Island. Acknowledge those feelings and talk it out with others who have either been through it.

Not seeing eye-to-eye on the invites? Here’s how to negotiate your guest list with your parents.

Your perfect wedding day vibe entails a cozy venue, a touch of DIY flare, and an intimate guest list filled with the people you love. There’s only one problem — your parents (or your in-laws) want to invite every single person they have ever met, and a few more that they haven’t. 

This can be a challenging topic to navigate, especially if your parents are footing some (or all) of the wedding day bills. How many people can they invite? Is it right to put a limit on their numbers? Here’s how to negotiate your guest list with your parents in a rational and respectful way. 

• MORE: What Should You Give Parents? Here are Some Gift Ideas

Who gets the final say on the guest list?

We say it over and over again: it’s YOUR wedding. You get to call the shots on everything from decor to bridesmaids dresses and — yes — the guest list. This is especially true if you’re covering all of the wedding day expenses yourself. 

If your parents or in-laws are contributing significantly to the budget, things get a little more complicated. Of course, the nice thing would be to allow them a few VIP invites from their own circles. But that doesn’t mean your wedding should turn into their party, and it doesn’t mean that they should have free reign to double (or triple) your guest count. 

So, remember — YOU get the final say on your guest list, even if your parents are paying for everything.

How many people should your parents invite?

There’s no hard-and-fast rule to determine the number of guests your parents get to invite. While situations will be different for every couple and every family, there are a few factors you’ll want to keep in mind. 

The two biggest of those factors is budget and venue capacity. Obviously the more people you invite, the more you’ll pay your venue. With a $30,000 budget and a venue capacity of 150, your parents’ 50-person invite list might seem a bit excessive. If you’re working with a $100,000 budget and a venue capacity of 300, that same 50-person guest list doesn’t seem so unreasonable.   

You’ll also want to consider your overall vision for the day. When your ideal wedding is a huge affair with lots of people in a grand ballroom, including a lot of parent invites may not be that big of an issue. However, if you want something super small with only those closest to you in attendance, allowing your parents to invite a lot of their own guests may not match the mood you want.

Again, there’s no strict guidelines for determining the exact number, but some experts suggest allotting around 10% of your overall guest list to parent invites.

How can you negotiate your guest list with your parents?

We get it — asking your parents to limit their invites can feel awkward and daunting. As with anything wedding (or life!) related, empathy, communication, and respectfulness go a long way.

Your parents love you, they’re happy for you, and they want to celebrate this new chapter in your life. They’re not inviting a hoard of people because they want to ruin your vibe, they’re inviting them because they want to share their joy with others. This is vital to remember during your conversation, so you can avoid any undue tension or misinterpreted emotions.

You’ll want to be as direct (but respectful) as possible. Communicate those three important factors we mentioned previously: budget, venue capacity, and your vision. Begin your conversation with an understanding of their excitement (and gratitude for their financial help, if applicable), then follow with a clear explanation of the situation. For example: “We understand how excited you are about the wedding, and we’re so incredibly grateful that you’re paying for so much, but our venue only holds 150 people. If we invite the 50 guests on your list, we won’t have room to invite the people who are important to us. Can you cut some guests from you list?”

Swap in budget or wedding vision concerns for capacity concerns, and you have a calm, clear, direct, and respectful way to start the guest list negotiations.  

• MORE: You’re Not Alone, Mothers-in-law Can Be a Handful

What if your parents keep inviting people?

You’ve had a clear and respectful conversation, and yet your parents are STILL adding to their guest list. It’s definitely frustrating and you may be losing your patience, but remember to keep things calm and even-tempered. 

Talk your parents (yes, AGAIN) and restate everything you told them before: start with empathy, express gratitude, and explain the issue. Offer to go through their guest list with them, and ask them why they’d like to invite the people they’ve chosen. Some people on their list might be lifelong friends that should be there, and some may be work buddies they haven’t seen since they retired.

You can even call your wedding planner for backup, and have them join you for the continued negotiations — sometimes having an outside source can help solidify the importance of the issue. 

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In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, Erin Grace tells us that despite the high level of stress in planning two weddings, everything went smoothly on both days.

When Erin Grace joined a dating app, she didn’t expect to meet her future husband with her first swipe. Three years later, they planned not one but two weddings for the perfect wedding weekend.

A Six-Hour First Date

Erin took a chance on Sadman when she swiped right in 2018. “I thought he looked like trouble,” she says. But their first date lasted six hours, making Sadman late for work, because they just couldn’t say good-bye to each other. Sadman proposed four years later, in January 2022. “He had planned to propose at my birthday party, but we can’t keep secrets from each other.” Instead he surprised her at their home, which he decorated with curtain lights, roses and candles. “It was just the two of us, and it was so special.”

Planning Two Weddings

Erin’s family is Christian, and Sadman’s family is Muslim, so it was very important that they honor both families’ traditions for their wedding. This meant hosting two weddings. On Saturday, Nov. 11, they had a nikah ceremony in Erin’s mother’s backyard. And on Sunday, Nov. 12, they had a civil ceremony and reception at the Watermill, a BOLI preferred vendor.

They started planning shortly after they got engaged, and by May 2022, they had booked the Watermill. “It was really important that we found a venue that was not only within our budget, but that would also accommodate halal food,” Erin says. “The Watermill not only guaranteed that they could serve halal food, but didn’t charge any extra fees for it.” The Watermill was a stand-out venue for Erin, as it had a newly renovated room with a beautiful fireplace and lighting fixtures.

Despite a hiccup with flowers, the rest of her planning went smoothly. All of the vendors she wanted were available – and she used BOLI recommendations to help her decide. Her mother was also a big help. “My mom is so good with party planning, so it was so great to have her help me, especially with a lot of the DIY stuff.”

MORE: 9 Wedding DIY Ideas That Any BOLI Can Tackle

A Wedding Weekend to Remember

It was important to Erin and Sadman that they incorporate their puppy – who they adopted a month before they got married – into their wedding day. “Our drink menus and napkins at the Watermill had cute photos of him on them!”

For their nikah, they put together little honey jars – a Muslim wedding tradition – as favors for their guests. And while she admits the DIY project was difficult, it all worked out and was a great personal touch to have on that day.

There were so many moments that stood out during that weekend. The first was during the nikah. Erin and her cousins choreographed a Bengali dance for Sadman and his family. “We did it as a surprise, and everyone loved it.” The moment that brought tears to her eyes – and still does to this day – is when her mother and grandmother walked her down the aisle at the Watermill. “I grew up with my mom and my grandma. It was always just the three of us, and they hold a very special place in my heart. We still tear up every time we hear the song we walked in to.”

Erin says that the Watermill staff made sure everything ran smoothly, even thinking of things she didn’t think of during planning. She also says that Manny from iClicks was a fantastic photographer. “He’s like part of our family since we used him for my Sweet 16, my mother’s wedding and now my wedding,” says Erin. “He just knows how to make people feel comfortable and capture all of the special moments between us.”

MORE: How We Honored Two Cultures on Our Wedding Day

Make Sure You’re Happy

Something Erin realized is, it’s important to go with your gut, especially when it comes to vendors. “Shop around. It doesn’t hurt to reach out to other vendors if you’re not happy,” says Erin. “Don’t ever feel like you’re stuck with your vendor, know that you have options.”

And, of course, use the BOLI Facebook group! “There are so many brides out there with great ideas! And they’re all so kind and willing to help each other out!”

Nov. 11 Vendors:
Tent Rental: Long Island Tent Rentals
Décor: Trend Rentals
Outfit: Chandan Fashion
Jewelry: Rangdil in Hicksville
Food: Kabobjees in Hicksville
Henna: HennabyInder

Nov. 12 Vendors:
Venue: Watermill, a BOLI preferred vendor
Photographer: iClicks Photo and Films
DJ: Excellence Sound Krew
Hair: Albana Hairstylist
Makeup: Kim Sharma
Invitations: Minted
Dress: Bridal Reflections in Carle Place, a BOLI preferred vendor
Bridesmaid Dresses: Azazie
Cake: Dortoni
Tuxedos: Indochino

Whether you are looking to give a gift to your future spouse or just want to feel your best, run to one of these boudoir photographers.

You’ve heard all about them in the Brides of Long Island Facebook group, and you may have even considered doing one yourself: A boudoir photo shoot. We have six of the best boudoir photographers on Long Island just waiting to capture you in all of your beautiful, sexy glory. And before you say you can’t, change that attitude! Once you step foot in one of these boudoir photographers’ studios, you’ll become a changed woman.

Maven Jade Photography
Shari at Maven Jade is a hidden gem, and her boudoir business thrives by word of mouth from all of her brides. Her studio in Plainview is the perfect playground with different settings to make you feel your best. And don’t forget to bring your custom playlist, because Shari can’t wait to belt out some 80s and 90s jams with you while working her magic.

MORE: ‘Everybody Has Sexy in Them.’ And Shari at Maven Jade Is There to Bring it Out!

Seaweed & Diamonds
Samantha of Seaweed & Diamonds can’t wait to work with her next supermodels – YOU! She is truly invested in all of her brides. In fact, after your boudoir shoot, you’ll have gained a new best friend. She is all about women empowerment and believes it’s important to build each other up and create a support system. And what better way to build you up than to photograph you in all your natural beauty!

MORE: Be a Supermodel with Seaweed & Diamonds

Alli Murphy Photography
Alli believes that in her boudoir studio, it’s not about how you look, but rather how you feel. And she will make sure you feel your best. Her studio is the perfect place for a sexy photo shoot that will leave your significant other’s jaw on the floor.

Anne-Marie Kristin Photography
Anne-Marie is here to make you fall in love with yourself all over again. She understands that boudoir shoots can be overwhelming, but Anne-Marie makes sure you’re comfortable and that you leave feeling confident and beautiful. And she hopes you carry that confidence all the way down the aisle.

Photography by Kymisha
If you’re nervous going in, have no fear – Kymisha is your hype girl! She is there for you to make sure you look your best from every angle and pose. Arrive with your favorite playlist and sexy outfits, and Kymisha will do the rest.

Leslie Simmons Photography
Specializing in boudoir and couples boudoir photography, Leslie Simmons creates a comfortable and empowering environment for all her brides and couples. She knows just how to capture your vulnerability, beauty and strength with her lens. Her loft studio in Sayville is the perfect backdrop for any boudoir shoot.

MORE: How a Boudoir Shoot Changed My Life

So, what are you waiting for? Channel your inner goddess and call one of these amazingly talented boudoir photographers to create the perfect gift for your future spouse (but really, let’s face it – this gift is for you)!

Pine Hollow Club Executive Chef Rezart Gorencavic crafts flavorful, seasonal menus with a farm-to-table flare.

If there’s one thing that Long Islanders have come to expect from their weddings, it’s a delicious menu. Abundant cocktail hours, decadent main course dishes, and attention to detail have become the culinary standard of our big days.

These high expectations are often difficult to surpass, but BOLI Preferred Vendor Pine Hollow Club has absolutely no trouble rising to the occasion. Their seasonal and locally-inspired cuisine is one of the many aspects that brings brides of Long Island to this beautiful venue. 

• MORE: Pine Hollow Club Offers Beauty, Sophistication, and Versatility on Your Wedding

A reputation for excellence

Executive Chef Rezart Gorencavic draws his culinary inspiration from his upbringing. “I come from a small country in the Mediterranean (Albania), and grew up using all seasonal fruits and vegetables,” he said. “In the US, I’ve worked at the legendary 21 Club, The National at Benjamin Hotel, The Intercontinental Hotel, and others. I joined Pine Hollow in 2021, and after the first month, I learned about the club and have added my twist. It has been an amazing experience.” 

Pine Hollow Club’s Director of Operations Joe Scalice was quick to praise the talented chef. “Everything he does is at a very, very high level,” he described. “I’ve owned restaurants, I’ve worked with some of the best chefs, and I didn’t want to put myself in a position where I couldn’t be extremely proud of the food. So, everything here is top-notch.” 

Menus that match the season

Whether you choose a bright and sunny spring affair, or a cozy and romantic winter vibe, Pine Hollow Club will treat you to a flavorful (and locally-sourced) menu. “I love working with farmers, and before I decide on a dish, I always talk to the farmers about what is going to be available during each season,” Rezart explained. “Then I will write a menu. I work with Rottkamp Brothers Farm, they are fantastic farmers.”

“On the summer menu, his caprese is absolutely delicious,” Joe effused. “There’s heirloom tomato from the farm, mozzarella, arugula and aged vinaigrette.”

Joe further described the spring and summer offerings. “We have a striped bass with artichoke and fennel” he listed. “Everyone wants Filet Mignon on the menu, and ours is very, very good with au gratin potatoes, spinach, and au poivre sauce.”

“But I always recommend the short rib,” Joe continued. “It’s killer. It melts in your mouth.”

As for winter menu standouts, Joe highlighted a popular dish. “One of the big things we see for fall and winter is the herb-crusted rack of lamb, served with sunchoke, onion cherry mostarda, and lamb jus.”

The surprises and the standouts

Among the mouthwatering choices on Pine Hollow Club’s vast menu, there are a few specific dishes that see a heavy rotation. “The most popular cocktail hour dishes are the Peking Duck Station and the Pine Hollow Taqueria,” Rezart said. “What makes these stations unique is that they are authentic, and the ingredients are locally sourced. The Tuna Tartare in a cucumber cup with wasabi and our Grilled Peach Crostini with honey and whipped ricotta are also popular hors d’oeuvres.”

Heidi Stanya, Pine Hollow Club’s Director of Member Experience, elaborated on their unique Taqueria. “We do a taco station with liquid nitrogen, and in a sense it’s a frozen margarita but with a smoke effect. Everyone always loves to choose that for their menu.”

Of course, the favorites aren’t limited to just cocktail hour options. “One of our most popular dishes would be the Long Island butternut squash soup, served with lavender honey crema and chestnuts,” Joe detailed. “And the spring green market salad with shaved carrot, radish, sorrel, citrus, and a champagne vinaigrette. People taste this and get blown away.”   

• MORE: Just Engaged? Why You Should Start Booking Your Vendors (Like, N0w)

The time-tested favorites

Both Rezart and Joe have their personal favorites when it comes to Pine Hollow Club’s delectable cuisine. “My favorite dish is the Long Island Striped Bass,” Rezart said. “The fish is line-caught and sustainable here on Long Island.”

Joe’s pick was more land-based. “The duck is outstanding,” he described. “The skin is crisp, all the fat is rendered, the meat is done rare to medium rare. It’s one of my favorites.”

Brides that become family

It should come as no surprise that Rezart and Pine Hollow Club’s staff are dedicated to making each wedding special. “We treat every wedding like it’s our own wedding, which makes it fun,” Rezart explained. “From the moment you book until the end of the wedding day, you are our family.”

That means he often goes out of his way to ensure that every couple gets the day of their dreams. “I created a couples-only tasting menu, they wanted to have duck – they both loved duck,” he remembered. “I added a fourth course to their tasting menu, and we started with the first course before the ceremony, the second course after they were married, and we finished with their last two courses being served during the reception dinner service.”

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Can’t think of the right words for such a big day? Here are a few tips for writing a great wedding day letter to your new spouse.

It can happen to the best of us: the stressors of planning a wedding can become pretty overwhelming, and we can quickly forget what the day is all about. But after all the DJ meetings, venue tours, and florist mock-ups, your big day will be here. And it will be so much more than just a party. 

It’s important to take a moment and express what the day — and your partner — really mean to you. Writing a letter to your soon-to-be-spouse can honor your past, your present, and your future. While in most cases your vows will be relatively public, a letter to your spouse is an intimate way to mark an incredibly special moment in both of your lives.

Even if you’ve never been one for words, you should still consider writing something for your fiancé to read once the big day arrives! Here’s how to write a meaningful wedding day letter.

• MORE: The Do’s and Don’ts of Writing Your Thank You Cards

Share your “why.”

Ever heard the phrase “how do I love thee, let me count the ways”? The opening of your wedding day letter is a perfect place to share all of the reasons why you love your soon-to-be spouse. Maybe it’s their thoughtfulness, their humor, or their charitable nature (or, let’s be real, that killer tush). Whatever it is, tell your partner all of the things that drew you to them in the first place, and the qualities that made you fall in love with them. 

Recount a memory

This can be something as momentous as your proposal, or small moment that continues to hold meaning.  Think about all the beautiful memories you’ve made as a couple, and write about the one that stands out the most.

Your dreams for the future

Your wedding day letter is a great place to talk about your hopes and dreams for the years ahead. Think about your ideal future together, whether it includes starting a family, buying a home, or partnering on a business venture. Your letter can also serve as a beautiful time capsule — read it again in 10 years, and see how far you’ve come!

Close it out with a bang

Whether it’s a running joke between you, a heartfelt emotion you’d like to express, or a promise you’d like to make, end your letter with a bit of flare. 

• MORE: How to Write a Maid of Honor Speech

Tips for writing a great wedding day letter

It’s not every day that we sit down to write a letter, so here are some helpful tips to consider:

• Make notes. Before you write, think of a few things you’d like to include in your letter and jot them down somewhere — in a journal, a spare piece of paper, or even the notes app on your phone. That way, you’ll have something to reference (and you won’t forget any important details!)
• Set aside time to write. Things that are rushed rarely turn out well. So instead of waiting until the last minute to scribble something down, set aside a few hours before your wedding to craft your letter. You can really think about what you’d like to say, and how you’d like to say it.

• Keep a draft that you can edit. When you make a typo in a text message, or think of a better word to say in an email, you can just hit “delete.” That’s not the case with a handwritten letter! So before you pick up a pen, try typing your letter out first. Then you can make changes (and utilize spellcheck) as you continue to work on it.
• Include details. Get specific with your letter. If you’re recalling a memory, use your five senses: what do you remember seeing? Hearing? Tasting? The details you include in each section of your letter will be what makes it special. 
• Stay positive. Your wedding day letter isn’t the time to bring up arguments you’ve had, or dwell on difficult times in your relationship. If you’re both able to look back at these tough moments and laugh, it’s okay to make a quick joke about it. But for the most part, your wedding day letter should focus on all the wonderful days you’ve shared. 

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From insurance reasons to wanting a more intimate ceremony, getting married before the wedding can sometimes make a lot of sense.

It’s the day some of us have been planning since we were little. But then life happens, and even as we start to plan our big day, we realize that it may make more sense to get married before the wedding. And that’s OK! In fact, getting legally married prior to the big day can make sense for many reasons.

Whether you choose an intimate city hall ceremony or something small with your close friends and family, here’s why getting married before the wedding can make sense.

Insurance Reasons

Let’s face it – the price of everything is going up, and health insurance is no exception. A big reason that many couples get married before the wedding is for insurance purposes. It just makes sense to be on one insurance, and most of the time, it’s easier if you’re married.

Many couples will also choose to tie the knot when one partner loses insurance coverage, through lay-offs or other situations.

MORE: Combining Your Finances – Everything You Need to Know

Immigration Reasons

If you or your future spouse are not American citizens, and your visa is set to expire before the big day, it makes sense to get legally married so that you’ll both actually be in the U.S. for your wedding day.

An Ill Family Member

As we mentioned, life happens and sometimes a family member or close friend can fall ill. If their prognosis is not good, they might not be able to make it to the wedding. It makes sense to have a small ceremony so he or she can witness you getting married.

More Intimate

Does the thought of saying your vows in front of a crowd make you anxious? Getting married before the wedding day in a small, intimate ceremony with your future spouse could be the perfect way to celebrate your wedding day without the anxiety of getting up in front of a crowd.

MORE: I’m a Shy Bride – How Do I Handle Being the Center of Attention?

Destination Wedding

If you’re having a destination wedding, it makes sense to get married before the trip. It can ease your mind, and you won’t have to travel with your marriage license and any other paperwork you may need.

Furthermore, some destinations will require engaged couples to reside in the country for a certain number of days (or even weeks) before they’re allowed to legally wed there. So if you don’t want an extended vacation, you’ll want to say “I do” before you board the plane.

MORE: 7 reasons to have a destination wedding

You’re Pregnant

Sure, people have children before they get married. But it may make sense to marry if you get pregnant before the wedding day – It could help with legal and insurance issues for your future child.

Whatever reason you have for getting married before the wedding, know that each day – the legal ceremony and your wedding day – are going to be beautiful and everything you dreamed them to be. And certainly don’t worry about what other people have to say. The only opinions that matter are your and your future spouse’s. In fact, if you get married before the wedding in an intimate ceremony, no one has to know!

Lastly, if you do get married before your big day, don’t worry about which day is your anniversary. You can literally celebrate whatever day (or days) you want!