8 Popular Diamond Shapes — Which One Should You Choose?

In addition to diamond shape, you should also consider the cut, color, clarity and carat.

Diamonds come in all shapes and sizes, so how do you tell which one is right for you? Besides looking at diamond shape, you should also consider the cut, color, clarity and carat of the diamond you’re interested in. Diamond cut is different from diamond shape. The cut is how the diamond’s facets interact with the light, whereas the shape refers to the actual outline of the diamond.

Below are eight popular diamond shapes. But which one should you choose?

Round
The round diamond shape is considered the most popular and traditional shape. With over 50 facets, it maximizes its brilliance and fire in the light.

Princess

Another very popular shape. The princess has a sharp square shape with pointed corners. It works well with a variety of different settings.

Oval

Oval diamonds are elegant and elongated, which is a unique twist on the round shape. Some consider it a flattering choice as it can make fingers look longer and slimmer.

MORE: The Types of Fiancés You’ll Encounter During Wedding Planning

Cushion

A cushion-shaped diamond has rounded corners. It can be a square or rectangular outline with soft edges, which gives off a vintage, yet contemporary, appeal.

Marquise

A marquise is oval shaped with pointed tips at each end. This is the perfect shape for those looking for a unique or dramatic look.

Pear

The pear-shaped diamond is also known as a teardrop diamond. It combines the features of a round and marquise shape. It’s considered a very unique shape with a rounded edge on one side and a pointed tip.

MORE: How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?

Radiant

The radiant shape is a rectangle or square with soft round edges. This can also work well in different settings.

Heart

This unique setting is shaped as, well, a heart. And while it’s unique, it does take some precision cutting to make it perfectly-shaped. A true symbol of love.

Only you and your future spouse can choose the perfect diamond for you. Before you decide, really take the time to picture your ring on your finger. Have you always wanted something traditional like a round or princess shape? Or maybe you want to stand out with a pear or marquise shape. If you work with your hands, that’s also something you should take into consideration. Will a more unique shape get in the way of work? Think about the type of band and setting you would like, too. Remember, the princess and radiant shapes work well with all different types of settings.

Just remember that whichever diamond shape you choose, your engagement ring will be beautiful. It’s a symbol of your love and the next chapter in your lives together.

MORE: What To Do If You Don’t Like Your Engagement Ring

In Brides of Long Island’s “Am I a Bridezilla?” the BOLI team weighs in on an anonymous submission asking that dreaded question. What do you think?

 

Dear BOLI,

My wedding is a few months away, and we just sent out our invitations. We included a line at the bottom that said “Adults-only ceremony and reception” because as much as I love kids, we don’t want any attending the wedding. 

I figured we may get “no’s” from a few parents which we totally understand, but my cousin is taking it to the next level. She is insisting that she bring her two kids — ages 3 and 5 — to our wedding, and says that not inviting them is offensive to her family.

To give you some context, my cousin is someone who brings her children everywhere, even to places that I feel are totally inappropriate. For example: my brother had his 30th birthday party at a cocktail bar on a Friday night. My cousin showed up with her kids, let them run around the place screaming and climbing on tables, and never even attempted to keep them occupied or calm. Several people at the bar complained to the bartender, who then asked my cousin to leave with her kids. She freaked out on the bartender and eventually left, but it was incredibly embarrassing for everyone and my brother’s party was ruined. 

I know that if I allowed my cousin to bring her children to my wedding, the same thing would happen. She always laughs it off and says “kids will be kids” when they’re causing a scene, and I don’t want them wrecking havoc during my vows or first dance while she acts like nothing is wrong. If I could trust her to keep them under control I might make an exception, but I know that won’t happen. 

So am I a Bridezilla for not inviting her kids to my wedding? Is it really that offensive to leave them off the invite list?

Signed,

Frustrated Cousin

• MORE: My wedding, my decisions, no you cannot bring your child

 

Dear Frustrated Cousin,

You are absolutely not a bridezilla for not inviting your cousin’s children to your wedding. 

“Adults-only” weddings are very common for good reason. Let’s be honest — unless you’re planning on having your reception at a Chuck E. Cheese, weddings are far from an ideal place for kids. They need to be still and quiet for the length of a ceremony, then behave at a 4-hour long party with loud music, (probably drunk) adults, and no age-appropriate activities to keep them entertained. Overstimulation and boredom is not a great combination when it comes to littles. 

How your cousin parents her children is her business, but your guest list is YOUR business. If your cousin’s children are disruptive in places that aren’t exactly “kid-friendly,” and she doesn’t ever feel the need to monitor or discipline them in those environments, then you have every right to exclude the kids from the invite list — both for your sanity and their safety. You also have every right to exclude whoever you want from your invite list, regardless of their age or usual behavior. It’s your wedding and you call the shots. 

If your cousin is offended, that’s okay. She gets to feel however she feels about any situation, and you can’t control how someone is going to react to your decisions. I would do my best to explain that you love her and you love her children, but your wedding is not going to be an appropriate place for ANYONE’S kids — not just hers. She’s not the only guest whose invite said “adults only,” and there’s not going to be anything at the wedding that would specifically cater to children. She may not agree with you, but that’s okay too.

Parenting is hard, and it’s possible your cousin is feeling isolated from the rest of your family — especially if she’s the only one with young kids. It’s also possible that on some level she knows her children’s behavior can be an issue, and her reaction was defensive. Again, I’d remind her that it’s not JUST her kids that aren’t invited, and offer to help her find a vetted babysitter for the evening so that she can still come. That’s something you may want to offer other parents as well.

Since you said she’s “insisting,” there is a chance that she may try to attend with her children anyway. I would put a game plan in place now for that scenario.  

• MORE: Don’t stress about wedding planning. Download Ring Leader today!

In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, Stefanie talks about who she relied on as she planned her wedding from Florida.

When Stefanie and Jacob started dating in their senior year at Hofstra University, she never thought she’d be living in Florida – let alone planning their wedding on Long Island from the Sunshine State. But that’s just what she did for their July 21, 2024 nuptials. And even though it was stressful, she says everything came out perfect.

A Beach Proposal

Stefanie says she and Jacob moved down to Tampa when he got his dream job working for the Yankees. Unbeknownst to her, Jacob asked her parents if he could marry her the day they moved into their apartment in Florida. “He said he knew I was the one when I agreed to move down south with him,” she says. Later that December in 2022, Jacob told her there was a company holiday party at his job…on the beach. And while she was a little skeptical, she went with it. What she wasn’t expecting was an empty beach and Jacob’s proposal. “I was completely shocked, and I said, ‘Wait, there’s no party?’” she says with a laugh. Afterwards, they went to an Italian restaurant where both of their families were waiting to celebrate.

MORE: 39 Questions to Ask When Touring a Venue

Long Distance Planning

They knew they wanted to have their wedding on Long Island, so Stefanie started planning in January 2023 for their July 2024 date. She says while most of the vendor meetings were on Zoom, she did come back up to tour some venues. She eventually fell in love with Water’s Edge in Centerport. “Any appointments after Water’s Edge I canceled, because I loved how modern and sleek it was,” Stefanie says. “I knew when I walked in that it was the venue where I wanted to get married.”

After the venue was booked, Stefanie and Jacob focused on finding a great photographer. “I remember looking at my parents’ wedding photo growing up, and I wanted amazing photos that our future family would be looking at,” she explains. They had heard of Gelfman Photography, a BOLI preferred vendor, from her friend’s wedding. “I happened to notice at her wedding that the photographers were very close and worked extremely well together,” Stefanie says. “I found out they were a couple, who have since gotten married. And I loved that it was a relationship team working together in photography.”

Even with the distance, and plenty of Zoom meetings, Stefanie says that she was able to book all of the vendors she wanted without any issues. Stefanie’s mother and now mother-in-law were on all of those Zoom calls, too. “They were a huge help joining the meetings,” says Stefanie. “And if any vendor wanted me to come and see something, they would go in my place.” She adds that her parents actually chose their wedding cake, as they went to Dortoni’s for a cake tasting and let Stefanie and Jacob know which was the best. “It was pretty stressful, but between the vendors and our parents, it was a relatively simple planning experience,” she says.

MORE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and Other Wedding Mishaps

A Calm Morning & Fun Evening

With all of the stress in the long-distance planning, Stefanie says the morning of her wedding was completely stress-free.  “I was really surprised at how calm I was,” she says. “I always thought I’d be so nervous.” But she says, getting ready with her bridesmaids, grandmothers, mother and mother-in-law, was fun. “I honestly had the best time.” She says she did get a little nervous for the first look, but it was a nice moment for her and Jacob. “It was such a special moment for the two of us, I was able to block everything else out to calm my nerves, and focus on each other.”

Their wedding day was filled with love, laughter and lots of color. “I really wanted to take advantage of it being summer and using a lot of color in my flowers,” she explains. “I wanted something fun and whimsical. And Bree from Wildflower Touch really knocked it out of the park. She understood my vision, and the flowers were perfect.” Jacob and Stefanie’s beloved dog Ollie couldn’t travel from Florida, but they still made sure to include him. “We named a drink after him – the Ollie Pops,” Stefanie says. She adds that they also had cutouts of Ollie’s head on sticks that they danced with all night. “It was great seeing his head bob up and down throughout the night on the dance floor. I loved that we were able to incorporate him into the party!”

Stefanie says all of her vendors were amazing. However Shay, the bridal attendant at Water’s Edge, truly made their wedding spectacular. “It was so hot that day, and Shay was always right there with ice water and lipstick for touch ups,” she says. “Whatever I needed, Shay was two steps ahead of me, ready to help me with whatever I needed. She made the day so special for us.”

Stefanie also says that Beaute Plans by A + C, a BOLI preferred vendor, were also fantastic. “There were so many people getting hair and makeup done that morning, and they made the morning smooth with no issues,” says Stefanie. “We all just jammed out to music and chatted with them like they had been our friends for years. And everyone’s hair and makeup came out great!”

MORE: After It Was Over, I Realized the Small Stuff Didn’t Matter

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Something Stefanie learned throughout the wedding planning process was not to sweat the small stuff. “Trust me, all the little things that I stressed about, like place cards or frames for the drink menus or even a hanger for my dress, they did not matter in the end,” she says. “Everything was perfect, and it was stress that was not needed.”

Of course, because of the long-distance planning, Stefanie says she relied heavily on the Brides of Long Island Facebook group. “It was so great to get the opinions of other brides, as well as inspiration from their photos,” she says.

Vendors:
Venue: Water’s Edge
Photographer: Gelfman Photography, a BOLI preferred vendor
Videography: Rick J. Studios
DJ: Bravura
Florist: Wildflower Touch
Hair/Makeup: Beaute Plans by A + C, a BOLI preferred vendor
Photo Booth: Long Island Photo Booth

With an award-winning executive chef, the food at The Lannin is out of this world.

As couples start touring venues for their wedding day, oftentimes a delicious menu is at the top of their ‘must-have’ lists. Is the food good? What are the cocktail hour options? What is unique about their dishes? With award-winning executive chef Tom Gloster in the kitchen, couples should run to The Lannin, a BOLI preferred vendor, and book their wedding. “We have an elevated a la carte experience in catering,” said co-owner Elias Trahanas. The best part? You don’t have to take our word that the food is good – you can enjoy a meal at their on-premise restaurant, The Union, where Gloster is always creating culinary masterpieces.

The Lannin is located in the heart of Nassau County at the Eisenhower Park Golf Course, inside the former home of The Carltun. It is under new ownership, and has been completely renovated to offer brides a bespoke experience on their wedding day.

MORE: Customize the Luxury Wedding of Your Dreams at The Lannin

Unique Cocktail Hour Stations

Culinary excellence takes center stage at The Lannin’s cocktail hour. With two distinctive stations, you and your guests will find it hard to save room for the main course. One of the highlights is the sushi station, where an in-house sushi chef hand-rolls fresh sushi right before your eyes. “Our sushi chef prepares each roll on the spot during cocktail hour,” said Trahanas. Equally impressive is the Tomahawk steak carving station. “The steaks are displayed hanging,” Trahanas explained. “As guests approach, the chef expertly carves the meat, offering a tantalizing taste. It’s always a crowd favorite.”

Exceptional Dishes

Gloster and his team of culinary experts craft seasonal menus that showcase only the finest and freshest ingredients. Among their standout offerings is a timeless favorite: filet mignon, guaranteed to impress. “Our meats are sourced exclusively from Prime Foods,” Trahanas assures. “So brides can trust they’re serving top-tier, aged cuts.” For seafood lovers, the seared branzino and grilled salmon are equally enticing, each bursting with flavor and expertly prepared. Every course is a culinary journey, transporting your guests to the exotic origins of each dish and ensuring they leave utterly satisfied.

Don’t Forget Dessert

Make sure to save room for dessert, because The Lannin’s sweet offerings are a perfect finale to an unforgettable meal. Delight your guests with an array of decadent desserts, including classics like a beautifully-layered wedding cake, hand-crafted by expert pastry chefs. For those with a penchant for variety, indulge in a lavish dessert station featuring a selection of mini pastries, fresh fruit tarts and velvety mousse cups. And for a touch of nostalgia, consider adding a warm, gooey chocolate fondue fountain with an assortment of dippable treats. Each dessert is a masterpiece, crafted to satisfy every sweet tooth and provide a fitting ending to your culinary journey at The Lannin.

Customized Experience

At The Lannin, brides have the opportunity to create the wedding of their dreams. And it doesn’t stop at decorating the modern venue. “Just like the space itself, brides get a bespoke experience when creating their menus,” said Trahanas. “We’re definitely open to trying new things on our menu.”

The menu can also be tailored to vegetarians or gluten-free. They also offer a Kosher option, with a separate Kosher kitchen.

MORE: Rain on Your Wedding Day? Not a Problem at The Lannin

About two months before the wedding, all of The Lannin brides get to have a tasting and try all of the delicious foods.

From its one-wedding-at-a-time experience and picturesque landscape to its award-winning food, The Lannin has everything a bride needs to create the wedding of her dreams.

Take your spouses name, or keep your own? Why not blend them together! Here are some good reasons to combine your last names.

Many brides of Long Island are comfortable taking their spouse’s last name, and many decide to keep their own. Some even decide that hyphenating their last names makes the most sense.

However, there’s a growing trend among many couples tying the knot — combining two surnames into an entirely new last name. 

Combining last names (also called name blending) may seem a little unorthodox, but a lot of newlyweds feel that it’s the best decision. Here are a few reasons why you may want to combine your last names after marriage. 

• MORE: How to Change Your Last Name on Long Island

It signifies a new start

Many couples choose name blending as a way to start fresh. This can be the case for newlyweds that had difficult relationships with relatives growing up, or for those who don’t strongly identify with their surnames and background.

Of course, the opposite can also be true — some partners feel incredibly tied to their names, and don’t want to adopt a new one after marriage. Combining your last names can be a compromise that honors both heritages, while also celebrating the start of your new family.

It can simplify things

In the past, choosing to hyphenate maiden names with married names was a popular choice. But this can get complicated, especially if both partners have long surnames. It can get even trickier if the pair plans to have children — will they take the hyphenated name, or the married name? Name blending can solve this problem, and give you plenty of space to write your new last name on paperwork 😂  

• MORE: New York State Allows Pets as Wedding Witnesses

It can show unity and equality

Marriage is a partnership, and giving each of your names equal footing can do a lot to symbolize that fact. Choosing to combine your last names represents both of you fairly, and allows both of you to enter into the next chapter with a shiny new last name.  

It puts an end to patriarchal practices

Not to be unromantic, but do you know why women always took their husband’s last name after marriage? Because until a few centuries ago, women were considered their husband’s property with no independent legal identity of their own. A lot of brides don’t want to continue with a practice that’s rooted in inequality, but also want to share a name with their husbands and future children. If you combine your last names, your whole family can share in something that feels more modern and fair.

This is not to say that there’s anything wrong with taking your husband’s name! There are plenty of women that want and choose to do so. It’s totally up to you and what you feel comfortable doing — whether that’s taking your husband’s name, hyphenating names, or blending names — and there are no wrong decisions!

How to combine your last names on Long Island

If you and your fiancé have decided to combine your last names, you will simply need to use your new surname on your marriage license. Your new names are officially yours as soon as the ceremony is complete, and you can use your license as proof of identity to change your name elsewhere. 

• MORE: Wedding planning doesn’t have to be stressful. Use Ring Leader!

 

The pair hosted a wedding reception in Miami after their European honeymoon.

Former Bachelor star Hannah Ann Sluss married NFL star Jake Funk in an intimate ceremony in Italy on June 26, 2024. According to People, the pair explored parts of Italy and Switzerland after their elopement. They then returned to the States and hosted a wedding reception in Miami, Florida.

The couple was engaged in January 2023, and exchanged vows in a 12th-century Tuscan castle. “We wanted to focus on commitment and the significance of marriage,” Sluss told People. They chose Italy because they’d both been there before, just not to Tuscany. Funk told People that Sluss took the lead when it came to planning.

Sluss embraced the local culture by walking down the aisle to Italian music. Her gown was custom-made by The Wedding Studio, a boutique in Indianapolis, where the pair lived while Funk was playing for the Indianapolis Colts. Funk wore a classic tuxedo from The Gentleman’s Playbook. Sluss told People that her Tuscan ceremony was exactly what she wanted, “simple enough, yet elegant and timeless.”

After their intimate ceremony, the newlyweds explored Tuscany for a bit before their honeymoon in Switzerland.

MORE: Getting Married Before the Wedding? Here’s Why it Can Make Sense.

When the pair returned from their honeymoon, they held a reception party weekend with family and friends in July. Sluss told The Knot she wanted her guests to ”feel like they were taken away to a fun Miami tropical oasis.” While Sluss planned her Italian ceremony, she solicited the help of her planning team at Petal Productions for her “Miami chic” reception. According to The Knot, the wedding weekend kicked off on July 12 with a sunset cruise and a pool party the next day. The main event was held at a rooftop venue filled with palm trees, white florals and hanging tea light candles. Sluss wore a dress from Jaxon James Couture Bridal, with sneakers so she “could dance the night away,” she told The Knot.

The newlyweds are now focusing on starting their next chapter together as Funk, a running back for the Detroit Lions, gears up for football season. “Our future is unpredictable,” Sluss told People. “We never know where we’ll be living or what he’ll even be doing, so I’m most excited to take on whatever life throws at us together.”

The Lombardi family owns several restaurants and catering halls, including Villa Lombardi’s in Holbrook.

The matriarch of the Mamma Lombardi’s Restaurant Group passed away on July 25, 2024 at the age of 92, according to her family. Michelina, affectionately known as Mamma Lombardi, was a mother of eight, as well as a beloved grandmother and great grandmother.

According to her obituary on Molony Funeral Home’s website, Michelina emigrated from Italy in 1968 with a love of cooking and gardening. Her kitchen was filled with joy, where she often shared her passion for cooking with her loved ones. Her granddaughter, Lauren, told Newsday that Michelina was involved with the family’s restaurants until the pandemic. She added that Michelina’s cooking was often driven by what was in her garden.

The Lombardi family opened Mamma Lombardi’s in 1976. After moving into a larger restaurant, the family expanded their property to include Villa Lombardi’s, a BOLI preferred vendor, in 1994 and Lombardi’s Gourmet Market in 2000. They established Lombardi’s on the Bay in Patchogue in 2011 and Lombardi’s Love Lane Market in Mattituck in 2014. They also operated Lombardi’s on the Sound in Port Jefferson, from 2003 to 2018.

Her family posted these words on the Mamma Lombardi’s Facebook page to remember their beloved mother and grandmother:
Through her delicious food she has brought joy and togetherness to so many, enriching those special moments for families for decades, from weddings to intimate family dinners. Her generosity, warmth and love for the community, cooking and gardening made her a beloved figure across Long Island. Her nurturing spirit and devotion to her family will continue to inspire us all, and she will always be in her hearts.

Many people offered their condolences, remembering Michelina as a kind and loving woman, who always made them feel like family.

Looking for someone to sign your marriage certificate? Pass Fido the pen! New York is among 29 states that allows pets as wedding witnesses.

Our fur babies mean the world to us, so why wouldn’t we want to include them in our weddings? While photo-ops and pet-themed decor is always a great decision, now Brides of Long Island can take things a step further: New York State will consider your dog, cat, hamster, or rabbit as a legitimate witness on your wedding certificate. 

• MORE: 9 Ways to Include Pets in your Wedding

Some Brides of Long Island have already suited up their precious pooches and felines for the very important job. “We wanted to share our wedding with those we love most,” said recent newlywed Jennifer Clair, who’s dog Ryley acted as a wedding witness. “This was the perfect way to make sure our whole family was included.”

Bride-to-be Madison C. will have her cat Cesar acting as a witness. “Cats are harder to include in pictures,” she admitted. “Cesar’s very shy so I don’t think he would tolerate being in pictures for too long. But I can coax him out of his carrier for a quick paw signature. He’s also on our cake topper and napkins, so I feel like he’s pretty well represented in our wedding day. He’s our baby!”

Keep in mind though, Brides of Long Island will still need at least one witness that would be “competent to testify in a court proceeding as to what he or she witnessed,” according to the New York State Department of Health. So unless your pet training has included a few English lessons, it’s best to bring a human witness along for the ride. 

Wedding planning doesn’t have to be stressful. Download Ringleader today!

 

 

In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, Stephanie explains why Land’s End was the perfect place for her wedding day.

Stephanie was just about ready to give up on dating apps when she decided to give it one last shot. Little did she know that she’d meet her future husband Joe and put an end to online dating once and for all. That one date led them to their Feb. 24, 2024 wedding at Land’s End, surrounded by their loved ones with a packed dance floor and food that guests are still raving about.

A Beach Vacation to Remember

Stephanie and Joe started dating in 2019 after meeting on Hinge. They didn’t get to travel together much due to COVID, so their first big vacation together was to the Dominican Republic in May of 2022. It was on that trip when Joe proposed to Stephanie. “He knows I don’t like much attention, so he just asked a photographer to come down to the beach at sunset, where he proposed. And it was perfect,” she said.

Finding the Perfect Vendors

Stephanie and Joe took some time to bask in their newly engaged glow before they started to plan their wedding. For them, the venue was their most important decision as they knew they wanted excellent food. Their second most important vendor? The DJ. “We figured if we had great food and great music, two things that we love, then we knew we’d have the perfect night.”

Originally planning a fall wedding, the two realized it might be a crazy time of year and decided to look at February dates instead. They toured 10 venues before deciding on Land’s End. “What really made me fall in love with Land’s End was that it felt very warm and homey,” said Stephanie. “I loved the fireplaces throughout the venue. And I also loved that it was on the water, so we had the option to take photos on the beach.”

As far as the music, they were familiar with After Hours, and emcee Phil, from other weddings they attended. “We had six weddings within a year between ours, and every one that had After Hours as their DJ was so fun,” said Stephanie. “And Phil was fantastic at our wedding! He was funny and immediately made us feel comfortable, specifically during our ceremony, which he officiated.”

A Perfect Day

All of their vendors were a pleasure to work with throughout planning, so it was no surprise that each one went above and beyond on their wedding day. “I truly thought that every vendor we had was exceptional,” said Stephanie. “The music was great, the food was phenomenal and our photos were amazing.” Those photos were taken by Michael John, of Michael John Photography, a BOLI preferred vendor.

MORE: Michael John Photography Makes Sure Your Wedding Day Is All About You

To keep with the classy atmosphere, Stephanie used black lanterns with candles for centerpieces instead of flowers. “I wanted an elegant, warm and cozy winter wedding.”

Stephanie and Joe made sure to take some moments throughout the day to take everything in. “Just seeing all of our loved ones on the dance floor enjoying themselves was truly a special moment for us.”

And the star of the day besides the newlyweds? The food, of course. Stephanie said they really enjoyed their tasting because Land’s End offered them a few new options that had yet to be added to their menus. “We went with some original dishes, and they didn’t disappoint,” she explained. From the sea bass and pork for their entrees to the braised short ribs for the starter dish, everything was delicious. “It really blew everyone away – including us.”

Enjoy Every Moment

For Stephanie, wedding planning was enjoyable. She said the BOLI Facebook page was so helpful throughout the whole process. Her advice for other brides is to remember to have fun with planning. “It can definitely be stressful, but if you give yourself enough time, you can enjoy it.” She also suggests prioritizing what is most important for you and your future spouse. “Once we locked in our venue and DJ, everything else just sort of fell into place for us.”

MORE: How much do you tip? BOLI’s ultimate recommended tipping guide

Vendors:
Venue: Land’s End
Photographer: Michael John Photography, a BOLI preferred vendor
Videography: Andrew Malary
DJ: After Hours Entertainment
Florist: Flowers by Burton
Hair: Ink & Ivy, a BOLI preferred vendor
Makeup: Aimee (Amelia) Molle – Let’s Get Pretty Beautiful
Officiant: Phil Vollaro, of After Hours Entertainment
Dress: Lotus Bridal

In Brides of Long Island’s “Am I a Bridezilla?” the BOLI team weighs in on an anonymous submission asking that dreaded question. What do you think?

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussions of weight loss/gain

Dear BOLI,

My wedding is in a little over a year, and I’m so excited. I’ve been planning it since before I was engaged (LOL).

Since I’ve had a lot of time to think about exactly what I want, I have a very specific vision of how I want the day to go and how I want everything to look. One of the things I love is when all the bridesmaids are in the same dress with the same hair styles and makeup, and when they have a similar silhouette.

I haven’t asked any of them officially, but in order for the bridesmaids I’ve chosen to have this uniform look, some of them are going to have to make changes to their appearance. For example — I want everyone to have big, sleek low buns, so a few of them are going to have to grow out their hair when they normally keep it short. A few of them are plus-sized, and while I have no problem with that and think they’re beautiful, in order for everyone to look the same they’ll need to lose some weight. One girl is very thin, and again I have no problem with that and think she’s beautiful, but she’ll need to gain some weight. 

Some people are telling me that wanting a bridesmaid aesthetic makes me a bridezilla. I feel like it’s my wedding and I get to decide how I want things to be. Am I a bridezilla?

Signed,

Uniform bride

• MORE: Do I Have to Make my Sister my Maid of Honor?

Dear Uniform bride,

Without a doubt, you are a bridezilla. 

Look, in BOLI we often say “it’s your wedding and you get to make the decisions.” But that applies to choosing your guest list and venue, selecting your decor, opting for an A-line gown when your mom wants you in a mermaid, that kind of thing. It certainly doesn’t apply to dictating your bridesmaid’s (or anyone else’s) physical appearance. 

Where their hair is concerned — if it’s important to you to have everyone in the same low bun, your hair and makeup artist can use extensions. Problem solved, and no one has to change their preferred everyday hairstyle to make it happen. 

Where their bodies are concerned — your requests are flat out offensive. Being a bridesmaid involves many responsibilities, but changing your body because the bride wants you to look a specific way is DEFINITELY not one of them. Your bridesmaids are not there to meet an “aesthetic,” they are there to love and support you while you take a major step in your life. Their sizes have absolutely nothing to do with your friendship, and as you said in your letter, you think they are beautiful as they are. If that’s the case, why would you want them to change?

I absolutely don’t agree with choosing your bridesmaids this way, but if everyone looking the same is that crucial to you, you should only ask those who currently meet your size requirements to be in your bridal party. But what if one of them gets pregnant before your wedding? What if one of them gets diagnosed with a medical condition that affects their weight? What if one of them CHOOSES to lose or gain weight? Would you ask them to step down if something like that happened? It’s really important that you rethink what being a bridesmaid means, and what’s appropriate to ask of them. 

I’ll also say this: in your letter, you mention that you have “a very specific vision of how I want the day to go.” I can almost promise you that on your wedding day, something will not go as you envisioned. Maybe even multiple things! Life happens, mistakes get made, and at the end of the day you’re still married. You should strongly consider thinking of the bigger picture here, rather than getting caught up in details that could have real, irreversible consequences on your friendships.

Wondering if you’re a bridezilla? Submit your questions to jennifer@bridesofli.com, and we may feature it in an upcoming article.

Download Ring Leader today!