I Canceled a Vendor and It Was the Best Decision for Me

BOLIs talk about why they canceled one of their vendors and how it worked out!

Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to. Whether a certain vendor was your first, second or third choice, for whatever reason it just doesn’t seem to feel right. You know deep down something is off, and you have that nagging feeling that if you went in a different direction, it might be better. So, you do it! You cancel on your vendor. And guess what? That could end up being the best decision you make during the wedding planning process.

We spoke with several Brides of Long Island about how they canceled one of their vendors and why it was the best decision for them.

Christina C. says she canceled her photo booth. “I had a fishing feeling and then was seeing bad reviews. I knew better than to go against my gut.” And that’s what’s important. Call it intuition. Call it a gut feeling. Whatever you call it, it’s important to listen to it!

Kelly B. says she actually canceled her venue! The first venue she booked was taken over by new owners. “We didn’t trust the new people to be able to perform a wedding to the same standards as the previous owners,” she says.

Sometimes, you cancel because you actually have a bad experience. Cristina Elizabeth says she actually canceled her florist after her sister’s wedding. “Her sweetheart table was a disaster, and her centerpieces were falling apart,” she says. “And the ‘anniversary bouquet’ was atrocious.” If you, a friend or loved one has a bad experience with a vendor that you’ve already booked, it could be a sign to cancel and start looking for a new vendor.

Katie O. also knew from experience. “I canceled my photographer after receiving horrible engagement photos!” she says. “I knew I would have hated all of my wedding photos if I stayed with them and the photographer assigned to me.” The last thing you need during wedding planning is more stress, worrying about what will happen with vendors on the big day.

MORE: 35 of the Best Photo & Video Vendors on Long Island

Marie H. says she canceled her photographer due to mixed reviews. She says she got nervous and her gut told her to go with another photographer. The new photographer she booked was a blessing in disguise. “They worked with me and my future husband to make sure the timeline was perfect. And the photos were beautiful. It truly was the best decision I made during wedding planning.”

Ultimately, all of the BOLIs we spoke with say to go with your gut. If something deep down is telling you it’s not right, it probably isn’t. And that’s OK. It’s OK to change your mind for whatever the reason. Just remember to check all of your contracts before you cancel on a vendor – this way you know what you’re entitled to regarding a refund on any deposits. Also, it’s important to remember if you plan to cancel on a vendor, do your research before you book another one.

MORE: What to do When a Wedding Vendor Cancels on You

As with all of your planning, check out other brides’ reviews on our Facebook page, and go into each vendor meeting with questions to ease your mind. Want to know what kind of questions to ask? Check out the following resources from our BOLI blog:

Lastly, remember that Brides of Long Island has some amazing preferred vendors that treat all of their brides wonderfully. You will always be in good hands with a BOLI preferred vendor.

Take a break from planning and treat yourself to something awesome from the BOLI Store

Wedding planning comes with a lot of questions, and depending on your financial situation, one of those questions may be “should I sign a prenup?” 

You’ve undoubtedly signed a dozen contracts in preparation for your wedding day – vendor agreements, payment schedules, maybe even your marriage license. And as your “I do” date draws near (and you start considering that age-old convention of “what’s mine is yours”), you might start to think – should I sign a prenup? We spoke with several BOLI grads about their decisions around the issue.

What is a prenup?

A prenuptial agreement (or “prenup”) is a written contract between two people created before their impending marriage. It typically outlines the debts and assets of each person (like property they each own, their individual retirement accounts, and outstanding student loans) and defines what each person is entitled to in the event of a divorce. 

Prenups can include rights to property ownership and division, rights to life insurance benefits and inheritances, the interests of children from previous relationships, and financial support responsibilities. 

The stigma around prenups

Wait a second – if you’re signing something that outlines what would happen in a divorce before you even get married, isn’t that…well…kind of saying something about your relationship? Should you be tying the knot in the first place if you’re already making plans about how to split up? Many people may have these thoughts in regards to prenups, but the truth is, a prenup doesn’t mean your marriage is headed for troubled waters.

“I think it’s so important to have this conversation and stop the stigma behind prenups,” said BOLI Megan Marr. “Everyone has this negative connotation to why people have prenuptial agreements, and I really want to change people’s outlook on it. People tend to look down upon people who openly talk about getting a prenuptial agreement.”

BOLI Pamela Granda agreed. “I think as a concept it has a bad rap,” she explained. “I was very much against it at first, but after hearing my partner out and educating myself about personal finances, I met with a lawyer who worked with my husband and we entered into an agreement [that left] us feeling like we’ll both be okay.“

“At first, the idea of a prenup was scary, as it had me believing that this was the estimated ‘end of the road,’ however this was not the case,” BOLI Rachel Depp described. “After talking a lot, [my wife and I] both decided that it would be best as a ‘just in case’ precaution.”  

Why these BOLIs decided to sign prenups

The reasons behind signing a prenup are varied, but they’re all valid. A few BOLIs shared those reasons with us.

Most just simply wanted to establish what each person brought with them into the marriage. “[My husband and I] both have homes, and I have a pension and other funds [from] before coming into the marriage,” Megan explained. “We wanted to make sure that whatever we established together was for the both of us, and whatever we came into the marriage [with] was always going to be separate.”

Rachel concurred. “My wife and I both believe that being in a relationship is an aid to better oneself, helping the other to be the very best version of themself,” she detailed. “That being said, individuality and independence are both extremely important to us. I am still in school and my wife recently graduated and is officially in her lifetime career.”

While getting married is certainly an expression of love and commitment, some BOLIs also view marriage for what it is at its core – a legal contract. “We were together 7 years before we got married, the prenup had nothing to do with our relationship,” said BOLI Samantha Weiss. “We felt better having it. Marriage is a partnership and can be treated similarly to a business partnership, and that’s how we saw the prenup.”

BOLI Sara J. McGuinness felt similarly. “Although many want to romanticize a marriage which, of course, in part, that’s what it is, it is fundamentally a contract,” she said. “That’s what separates it from another kind of romantic relationship. Every contract should be coupled with laid out terms, conditions, and guidelines.”

Others expressed a common sentiment behind their decision: no one really knows what the future will bring. As an anonymous BOLI made clear, “the unfortunate truth is you never know who you’re married [to] until you’re in a situation you never thought you’d be in.” She went on to describe why family history dictated a prenup in her eyes: “One of the biggest reasons was because of the way my parents’ relationship ended. My mom was already established way before marrying my dad, and when their marriage ended he wanted to take half of everything that wasn’t his.”

Rachel echoed this idea. “I was raised to always think of each and every outcome, and I know that nothing is impossible,” she said. “This by no means makes me think that my wife and I will divorce.”

Why this BOLI decided not to sign a prenup

Another anonymous BOLI shared her reasoning behind skipping a prenuptial agreement. “My husband and I did not [sign a prenup] as we married at 25 [and] 26 years old, purchased our first home together, and both of us had zero student loan debt,” she said. “If we were older, individually had our own properties, or if one of us had student loan debt, we would have. However, as we feel we started in similar financial positions, we felt it was not necessary to.”

Should you sign a prenup?

As with anything related to weddings, relationships, and marriages, the answer is different for everyone. As Rachel expressed, “to anyone debating the prenup, it is not for everyone! Talk with your (future) spouse, and see what the right direction is for you as a couple. Each couple is different, with different needs and intentions.” 

You don’t have to travel far to have a great time with your squad.

Girl, this is your chance to get as crazy or as low key as you want. It’s time to spend with your squad to unwind and let loose (or relax), as the days to your wedding start to get into the double or single digits.

But whether you have two people in your bridal party or more than 10, trying to plan a bachelorette party can be stressful. However, you don’t have to travel very far to have an amazing time! If you’re planning your own or your maid of honor is doing the research, keep it somewhat stress-free with these great ideas right here on Long Island.

Brides of Long Island has some great preferred vendors who can help create a unique bachelorette party experience! From overnight stays to day tours and more, there’s bound to be something in our list below to keep you and your squad entertained with tons of laughter, fun, and maybe even debauchery?

FANCY RESTAURANTS/BARS
Looking to get a good meal in before hitting the town? Or maybe you just want to relax and have a great meal with your besties. Either way, these restaurants on the Brides of Long Island Preferred Vendor list are going to leave you full from delicious meals.

Bakuto
Try something different at Bakuto, which is a Japanese Izakaya restaurant in the village of Lindenhurst.

Goldy’s Gems
This timeless bar offers a cozy bar atmosphere with a killer house cocktail list in Bay Shore.

ITA Kitchen
Italian restaurants are staples on Long Island. ITA Kitchen in Bay Shore stands out with its trendy and chic atmosphere.

Library Café
Formerly the Farmingdale Public Library, this bar/restaurant has everything you need to kick off your bachelorette party with a hearty meal.

Mirabelle Restaurant & Tavern
As part of the Three Village Inn, Mirabelle Restaurant & Tavern offers a cozy atmosphere and intimate gathering of your crew.

Post Office Café
Right in the heart of Babylon, this restaurant and bar has been a Long Island staple for over 40 years. It’s known for its delicious burgers and famous cocktails.

Sandbar
Located in the heart of Cold Spring Harbor, Sandbar offers the best land and sea dishes for your crew.

View
View in Oakdale offers a delicious meal on the water with beautiful views.

OVERNIGHT STAYS

(Photo courtesy of Camp No Counselors)

Camp No Counselors
Spend an all-inclusive weekend at one of the best summer camps in America! From team-building events and themed parties to eating at a mess hall with your besties, get back to the basics of being a kid – with all of the fun adult things!

MORE: Bring Your Bachelorette Back to Summer Camp at Camp No Counselors

Fire Island
Hop on the ferry and relax in a rental home on Fire Island. Get as secluded as you want on the beach, or hit up the fun bars and restaurants for nightlife and entertainment. Pro tip – book early so you’re guaranteed to get that rental home or AirBnB.

Glamping
If camping isn’t your thing, maybe glamping is! This might be a more affordable option to head out East instead of renting a house or AirBnB. Here is one site to get you started.

Montauk
There are tons of rental homes, AirBnBs, hotels and more at The End. If you’re headed there in the summer, there are tons of bars, clubs and restaurants to hang out at if that’s what you’re into. If you’re looking for a beach getaway, this is your spot as well. And of course, there’s day spas and a salt cave for some relaxation. If adventure is more your speed, check out the lighthouse or hike some trails.

The East Wind Spa Resort
Check out the Inn & Spa at BOLI Preferred Vendor East Wind for deals on overnight stays and some spa treatments. There are always tons of packages here, and sometimes includes a trip to a winery.

The Garden City Hotel
Splurge a little and book a room or two at this posh hotel. It’s an Uber drive away from the bars and restaurants in Garden City to please any appetite.

The Hamptons
Just before you hit Montauk, you’ll need to hit the Hamptons. Just like Montauk, there are tons of rentals and AirBnBs to hit any price range.

PARTY IDEAS
Brew Crew Cycles
If beer is more your thing, book a tour with Brew Crew Cycles for your own crew. Pedal around outside with your friends while sipping beer and stopping at some of Long Island’s craft breweries.

Draw a Naked Model
Hear me out! The Artful Bachelorette is in New York City, but worth the trip. They also offer the option to host a party at your house. And yes, you get to draw a naked man! It’s a classy party, with an instructor to help guide your drawing skills.

Get Crafty
Different from a paint party, grab a hammer and a tool belt and get crafty. Places like Board & Brush or AR Workshop offer DIY wood workshops for you and your crew AND provide the supplies.

(Photo courtesy of Vis Ta Vie Picnics)

Have a Picnic
Reach out to our awesome BOLI Preferred Vendors Long Island Lux Picnic or Vis-Ta-Vie Picnics and have them plan you the best and glamorous picnic! From cute low tables to elegant silverware – this fun idea will be sure to wow your friends.

(Photo courtesy of Long Island Lux Picnic)

MORE: Not into drinking? Check out these bachelorette party ideas that don’t involve alcohol

Paint & Sip
If you’re looking for a more calm night, check out any of the paint & sip places in either county. You and your friends can pick from a ton of things to create – while relaxing and drinking.

Spa Day
There are tons of spas across the Island that offer packages. Some will even let you rent out the place at night and bring in food. Others will include food in their party packages.

Wine Tour
The classic Long Island bachelorette party idea. Rent a limo (or party bus) and head out to either fork to drink some wine with your besties. Look up places that have food packages, or bring your own for a picnic.

RECOVERY
We’ve all been there! If you plan to really party hard, hire either of these amazing BOLI Preferred Vendors to give you and your crew a little recovery session.

reactIVate
Have reactIVate there to help your hangover, or maybe just have a healthy alternative to the typical bachelorette party. Either way, these two registered nurses are here to help keep you healthy!

MORE: Feel Your Best for Every Wedding Event Thanks to reactIVate

(Photo courtesy of RxIV Infusions)

RxIV Infusions
Specializing in health and wellness, while they can help with those hangovers, RxIV Infusions wants to focus on the whole you, offering a different blend of vitamins and electrolytes to give your body the boost it needs.

Whatever you decide to do, it’s bound to be the best time ever (aside from your wedding, of course)!

MORE: Expectations and Boundaries for Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties 

In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, we spoke with Tamara Simpson Agbeyegbe about planning two weddings in 14 months during her first year of medical school!

(Photo courtesy of 456 Weddings Studios)

When Tosan proposed to Tamara in May of 2021, she had to hit the ground running with planning, as she was moving to Chicago with him so she could attend med school that August. That only gave her three months to book the big vendors for not one but two weddings she planned to have in July 2022! But she and Tosan tackled the planning head on, and had the best wedding weekend that celebrated not just the joining of their families, but honored Tosan’s Nigerian cultures and traditions.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

When Tamara headed up to visit her former teammate at Yale University in May of 2021, she figured she’d just be reminiscing during a girls’ weekend. Little did she know that Tosan had planned an elaborate proposal in the campus yard where they met! Tosan didn’t miss any details, inviting her friends and family members, including her brother from California. As Tamara walked through the yard, a friend or family member would pop out to hand Tamara a gift until she met Tosan at the end of the path. She says he was standing there in a rose petal heart with a table full of memories of their relationship. “It was really beautiful and over-the-top,” she says. But it was perfect.

Race to Plan

After they got engaged, Tamara says they hit the ground running before she started medical school. “I had to get most of the planning done so I didn’t have to do a lot while I was in school,” she explains. They toured a bunch of venues first, but fell in love with Giorgio’s, a BOLI Preferred Vendor. “They are just stunning, I couldn’t ask for a better place.”

Next up, she chose her wedding dress from Bridal Reflections, a BOLI Preferred Vendor. Choosing a DJ was easy for Tamara, as she used the same DJ that her family has used for the last 30 years. In fact, Tamara says it was the same DJ company that DJ’d her mom’s wedding! She also booked her hair and makeup artist – which were also easy to find because they are the same ones her sister used at her own wedding three years ago.

With the bigger vendors booked for her American wedding, Tamara was able to focus on medical school by the fall of 2021. She says that Tosan helped by creating spreadsheets to coordinate the payments and put together a timeline. In addition to Tosan, Tamara leaned on her sister, who gave her advice on wedding planning. “She was able to tell me the things she wished she would have spent more money on and the things she said you don’t need to spend money on.”

(Photo courtesy of 456 Weddings Studios)

Planning the Nigerian Wedding

Tamara says that because Tosan is Nigerian, they had two weddings. By January 2022, Tamara and Tosan consulted with his family to plan the Nigerian wedding. “It was really special to learn the different ceremony pieces and the traditions,” says Tamara. “It was really great to embrace his culture and represent it well.” At times it was overwhelming she says, but she leaned on Tosan and his family to help. “My husband took the reins. He organized me getting my dresses in Nigeria!” Yes, that’s right. She had to get two separate dresses made for her Nigerian wedding – and they were custom-made in Nigeria! “I sent my measurements over. I would take calls at weird hours because of the time zone.” In the end, the dresses were beautiful. “They were so colorful. I couldn’t believe it. I had to put so much jewelry on,” says Tamara. “And I had to put a headwrap on.”

(Photo courtesy of Aida Malik)

MORE: 6 Reasons Why You Should Hire a Wedding Planner 

Tamara says the Nigerian wedding was held at North Shore Beach Clubhouse – and it was more of a do-it-yourself wedding. “I had one planner – I used my cousin’s event planning business,” says Tamara. She adds that while she had a different photographer and videographer for the Nigerian wedding, she used the same hair and makeup artist for both weddings.

Premiere Entertainment

Tamara explains that since she was the last girl to get married in her family, her mother wanted to go over the top with her wedding! “My mom and my sister were like ‘we have to top everything we’ve ever done.’”

So, what did those over-the-top things include? To start, their guest list included over 200 people at her American wedding, and 120 people at her Nigerian wedding. Guest list aside, the entertainment at Giorgio’s included a caricaturist, violinists, a keyboard player and aerialists. Yes, aerialists! “My sister had ballerinas, so I couldn’t have that!” says Tamara. “The aerialists were in hoops and doing flips and spinning around. I couldn’t believe it! They were stunning.”

(Photo courtesy of 456 Weddings Studios)

Tamara says Giorgio’s made poutine for one of the cocktail hour stations. “It’s a Canadian dish. It was great to have that at the wedding,” she says. Tosan grew up in Canada, and his family still lives there. And their signature drink? A special margarita with drink toppers that featured the crest of their residential college where they met and lived at Yale.

(Photo courtesy of 456 Weddings Studios)

Honoring a Culture & Traditions

Tamara and Tosan had their Nigerian wedding on July 16, and their American wedding on July 17. “It was back-to-back days of just wedding chaos,” says Tamara.

Tamara says she had to learn different traditions for the Nigerian wedding. “It’s a union of two families. It’s his family asking for my family’s blessing for me to enter their family.” She says for the first half of the wedding, she’s hidden away in a separate room, while each family dances into the reception. Once each family has entered, the groom enters with his groomsmen and they ‘inspect’ him “to make sure he has all 10 fingers and 10 toes,” she says. “A lot of the traditions that are played out and are not as serious.” After the inspection ritual, the groom’s parents give a gift to the bride’s family – which included wine and a basket of fabrics from Nigeria.

Next, the groom has to ‘identify his bride.’ Tamara explains that her bridesmaids are sent into the wedding wearing veils and holding fans in front of their faces, while Tosan had to declare them ‘not his bride.’ “Finally, I come out with bridesmaids doing a dance,” she says. After saying a prayer with each family, among other ceremonial things, she says there’s a big dinner and dancing. “There are Nigerian dances that we had to teach our bridal party. And it was fun to watch my family wearing traditional Nigerian outfits to surprise me!” Tamara says her family really embraced the Nigerian culture.

(Photo courtesy of Aida Malik)

MORE: Summer Soiree? Fall Fête? A Breakdown of Weddings by Season. 

The Union of Two Cultures

The day of their American wedding was also just as perfect as the Nigerian wedding. From the beautiful aerialist performances and delicious food, to the MC who kept the party going all night and the ‘money dance,’ everything was just perfect for their wedding weekend. What is the money dance? “In Nigerian culture, you bring dollar bills to events like weddings, and you shower the bride and groom,” explains Tamara. “Any time we were dancing, you see the money flying over our heads. Usually, the kids gather it and put it away. There were piles of dollar bills around us. It was cool.”

(Photo courtesy of 456 Weddings Studios)

“My MC was the highlight of my wedding,” says Tamara. She says he specializes in multi-cultural fusion weddings. From the start of the wedding, he asked where everyone was from. He would name different countries from around the world, and someone cheered at every single country, says Tamara. “He just kept the party going. He’d pass around the mic. He incorporated Nigerian culture into the wedding in so many cool aways.” There was never a dull moment!

Plan Early & Incorporate Your Partner

When it comes to advice for other Brides of Long Island, Tamara says planning early is key. “Get the venue as early as you possibly can! I remember that was the most stressful thing.” She also adds that leaning on your partner for support and help will keep your stress level lower. “I would do the work to find the vendors, and Tosan would keep me organized! Any questions I had about payments or contracts, Tosan had an answer!”

MORE: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff 

“And just enjoy it!” She says it can definitely be hard at times, as she would get overwhelmed while planning both weddings and juggling medical school, but it’s important to not stress out and know that everything will work out.

(Photo courtesy of 456 Weddings Studios)

Traditional American Wedding Vendors:
Venue: Giorgio’s Baiting Hollow, a BOLI Preferred Vendor
Photographer: 456 Weddings Studios
Videography: 456 Weddings Studios
DJ: DJ Legend LLC Jerry Cummings
MC: Kofi Williams
Florist: Ritz Walton Wedding Collection 
Hair: NaeDidMyHair
Makeup: Pure Glamour 
Officiant: Rev. Dr. Daris Dixon-Clark – First Baptist Church
Invitations: Marry Me Magazines 
Dress: Bridal Reflections, a BOLI Preferred Vendor – Ysa Makino  
Bridal Jumpsuit: Jovani Fashions 
Bridesmaid Dresses: Bridal Hive 
Cake: Dortoni Bakery
Tuxedos: Suit Shop

Traditional Nigerian Wedding Vendors
Venue: North Shore Beach Clubhouse
Hair: NaeDidMyHair
Makeup: Pure Glamour 
Photographer: Aida Malik
Videography: Ebi Agbeyegbe 
Decorations: Kim’s Pop of Flavor 
Decorations: Dan’s Unforgettable Creations, a BOLI Preferred Vendor   
Bride’s Dress: Made Pieces
Groom’s Agbada: TDA Couture 
Fabrics: @Cellaniq_georges

(Photo courtesy of 456 Weddings Studios)

Make your spirits bright with these great gift ideas!

The holiday season has arrived and with it comes the age old tradition of gift giving and receiving. You’ve got some killer presents lined up for your family, but you may be at a loss when it comes to your own wish list.

You’ve got enough “future Mrs.” items to fill a store,  so for something a little different this year, try suggesting these five wedding-friendly gifts to your holiday wish!

1. A Brides of Long Island Premium Membership

There are so many vendors to consider when planning a wedding – the venue, the photographer, the make-up artist, the cake – the list seems to never end, and neither do the expenses.

But what better gift is there than getting the day of your dreams, for less? With a BOLI Premium Membership, you can score some amazing dollar-saving deals, like  $250 towards new bookings with Silverfox Studios, a complimentary wine tour when you book your wedding with East Wind Long Island, 10% off your DJ package with Genesis Events, and lots of other offers from Long Island’s best wedding vendors! At $69, a BOLI Premium Membership is the gift that keeps on giving through all of your planning.

2. A few dance lessons for you and your fiancé 

Feeling nervous about your first dance as Mr. and Mrs.? Step out onto the dance floor with confidence after a few lessons with one of BOLI’s preferred dance instructors! They will choreograph the moves to your favorite song, so you can wow your guests with fancy (but easy!) footwork. 

3. Some bridal beauty prep

The holidays can be overwhelming, and it’s so easy to skip that waxing or spray tan in order to get stuff done. But you deserve a little pampering, girl! Ask your friends or family for microneedling from Suite Skin, a facial from Beauty Luxe Skin and Body, teeth whiting from Smile Vibe, or any other beauty prep service from one of BOLI’s preferred vendors!

4. A boudoir photography session

You might be thinking “Um, isn’t this more of a gift for my fiancé?” But trust us – you’ll leave your boudoir photo shoot feeling beautiful, sexy, and self-assured. Tell your loved ones to book you a session with one of BOLI’s preferred boudoir photographers! 

5. A night out – or in!

Wedding planning can be stressful, so gift cards for a nice dinner or night out can be just what you need! One of BOLI’s preferred vendors can provide a delicious meal and lots of ambiance, or even bring an adorable picnic for two to your door!

Happy Holidays, BOLI!

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Just because you were married before, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate like it’s the first time.

Getting married the second time around might leave you with some questions on how you should celebrate. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way.

Whatever the reason why your first marriage ended, it doesn’t matter. What matters now is the present, and this next chapter of your life. You have a second chance at love. Your future spouse makes you feel like a million bucks. So why not celebrate with all of the bells and whistles?

So, do you get the engagement party, the bridal shower or the bachelorette party? The short answer is – yes, if you want them! If you are on the fence, below are some reasons why you should or shouldn’t have the ‘traditional’ wedding events.

Engagement Party
When do you plan on getting married? Is it within a year of when you got engaged? You may want to consider skipping this – just as any bride would – as the party would be very close to the wedding. However, if you’re planning a long engagement, a small engagement party with close friends and family would be OK. If you still feel funny, just request people’s presence to celebrate as opposed to gifts. Maybe host an ‘untraditional’ or low-key engagement party by inviting people out to dinner or even to a ‘participation’ party, such as ax-throwing or Top Golf!

Bridal Shower
If you already live together and have a lot of what you’ll need to begin your next chapter, you may want to skip this or have something more low-key. However, a bridal shower could be an opportunity to really start over. You can replace things you no longer use or maybe don’t own anymore. Still feeling weird about having a shower? Check out these unique shower ideas

MORE: It’s Okay If You’re Not Okay With It: Setting Boundaries for Bachelor/Bachelorettes 

Bachelorette Party
Girl, this is your second shot at love. Why not celebrate with your girl tribe in the best way you know how? The possibilities are endless when it comes to bachelorette parties. You can go crazy with a destination party. Or you can keep it low-key. No one ever said you need alcohol at a bachelorette party! If you still aren’t sure, why not just grab your bestie and have a spa day to relax and unwind before the big day?

MORE: Bachelorette Party Ideas on Long Island

A White Dress
It is probably safe to assume that the jig is up if you’ve been married before. But it’s totally OK if you want to wear white on your wedding day (no matter if it’s the first, second, or third time). But it’s also OK to skip the white and maybe go with an off-white color or even a different color all together.

A Big Celebration
Just as with any of the pre-wedding events above, this is entirely up to you. If you already did the whole big celebration the first time around, you may want to consider something small and intimate. This could also allow you to save money for the future.

If you didn’t have the big celebration the first time around, this is your opportunity to plan the wedding of your dreams (if you so choose).

MORE: I’m a Shy Bride – How Do I Handle Being the Center of Attention?

Ultimately, you and your future spouse need to decide what’s best for your situation. There are always going to be other’s opinions – hey, we know this happens during ALL wedding planning – so it’s important to do what you want. Those who know you and your story will support you and be there no matter what you decide.

What started as a small Facebook group has turned into a mighty sisterhood.

We did it! The Brides of Long Island Facebook group has hit yet another milestone – 20,000 members!

In just six years, the small group that founder Heather Cunningham started during her own wedding planning has transformed into a safe community and a mighty sisterhood that only BOLI members will truly understand.

“I never could have imagined what BOLI would become when I first started it in 2016,” says Heather. “I created it to help myself and other brides who were lost. There was never any intention for it to become my business or career.”

(Photo courtesy of The Glenmar Studio)

Over the years, Heather has secured a growing list of preferred vendors that BOLI members can trust. Launched a podcast in 2020. And even ran a consignment shop for gently used bridal items, the Wedding Warehouse, from 2017 to 2020 for brides to shop for their weddings.

MORE: Wedding Warehouse to Close

Heather believes if she had created BOLI with a business plan from the beginning, it never would have become what it is today. “The organic start of BOLI is what led to the growth and movement it became.”

For an outsider, BOLI is a resource for brides to learn information about vendors and get recommendations. But BOLI members know that it’s so much more. It’s a safe haven to bounce ideas off of. It’s a place to speak freely about the stress of wedding planning without judgment. It’s a community that truly rallies around other members and supports each other during wedding planning and beyond. And it’s a place where long-lasting friendships are born.

BOLI Amanda Lai says she met her forever friend Amy through BOLI in 2018. “It was like the universe was destined to make us friends. First, we had a random encounter at DSW, then at Victoria Elizabeth, a BOLI preferred vendor, where Amy was getting a hair trial while my mom was getting a makeup trial,” says Amanda. They got married two weeks apart, and have remained friends ever since. When they got pregnant, their due dates were three days apart! “Four years, two weddings and four kids later, not only are we friends, but our children are too!” says Amanda.

MORE: How BOLI changed my life

Amanda and Amy aren’t the only friends who met through BOLI! Brit Handler says she met some of her best friends through BOLI. “Even after planning our wedding, our big days and our honeymoons, we continued to love and support each other in our new lives,” says Brit. “Now we’re all moms and our kids had their built-in first friends. Couldn’t get much better than this!

BOLI hasn’t just created amazing friendships, it has inspired brides to work in the wedding industry, including this BOLI blogger! A lot of brides get those post-wedding blues after the big day, so some seek out ways to stay involved in the industry – becoming photographers, painters and wedding planners!

(Photo courtesy of The Glenmar Studio)

MORE: Post wedding blues? You’re not alone. 

Each and every day new members join BOLI, while others graduate to start their next chapter. Most graduated BOLIs leave very thorough reviews of their wedding vendors, often providing intimate details that allow other members a sneak peek of what they can expect on their very own big day.

The Brides of Long Island community wouldn’t be where it is today without its amazing members who love and support each other. Their constant motivation and kind words truly make the BOLI community the best on Long Island.
Peace, Love and Diamonds from the BOLI crew!

Celebrate this huge milestone with something fun from the BOLI store!

Danielle Zarrilli Petry of Beautifully Bronzed and Bare wants you to look – and feel – your best for that walk down the aisle

Your hair and makeup artists are an essential part of your wedding day team, but it’s often those smaller details that ultimately pull your bridal look together – a stunning white smile, perfectly curved brows, and a beautiful bronze glow that commands attention from everyone in the room.

Those all-important details are what motivate Danielle Zarrilli Petry, owner of Beautifully Bronzed and Bare (a BOLI Preferred Vendor). She brings years of passion and experience to her privately-owned studio, and she’s constantly inspired by the brides-to-be that walk through her doors. 

“I finally get to help people not feel the way I did growing up.” – Beautifully Bronzed and Bare

At first, Danielle was interested in pursuing another trade within the beauty industry. “I initially went to beauty school because I only wanted to do makeup,” she recalled. “You couldn’t even talk to me about anything else. But you just can’t walk out of beauty school and become a makeup artist.”

As she was building her portfolio, Danielle decided to get a job at a popular skincare franchise. “Fresh out of beauty school, I worked at European Wax Center and I fell in love with the waxing and skincare part of everything. I’m Italian, so when I was younger I had hairier arms and sideburns and everything. So I thought, ‘Oh! I finally get to help people not feel the way I did growing up.’”

Her talents and professionalism were quickly noticed within the company, and soon European Wax Center promoted her to regional trainer. But a BOLI leader pushed Danielle to branch out independently. “When I met Heather [Cunningham, Brides of Long Island founder], she told me ‘you have to go off and do this on your own.’  European Wax Center was a great place to start, but I had been there for 11 years. I was ready. I got my own studio, and this past September was our three-year anniversary.”

“It’s the most rewarding feeling, because I know I’ve done my job correctly.” – Beautifully Bronzed and Bare

After opening her own studio, Danielle soon began adding other services to her repertoire. “Primarily I do waxing and spray tan, but I also do lash lifts and tints, teeth whitening, dermaplaning, and brow henna,” she said. “I’m in the process of adding another service as well, hopefully by the end of the year.”

And while she’s constantly striving to expand her knowledge and offerings, Danielle still holds a deep love for the skills that brought her into the business. “Waxing and spray tanning are definitely my favorite services, waxing because I’ve been doing it forever. I could do it with my eyes closed.”

“There’s nothing better to me than waxing somebody’s eyebrows, and seeing the look on their face when I give them the mirror,” Danielle described. “It’s the most rewarding feeling because I know I’ve done my job correctly. Your brows frame your face, so when you have good brows, you feel good about yourself. That’s the best feeling to me.”

“I love seeing the final product.” – Beautifully Bronzed and Bare

Danielle appreciates her entire client base, but she has a special place in her heart for brides. “I just love interacting with brides, getting to know them and how they met their fiancé, and making them feel really good about themselves” she detailed. 

Being a part of a wedding team is an incredibly rewarding experience for Danielle. “I love seeing the final product, when brides send me their pictures in their dresses. I feel the same way about tanning as I do about brows – being tan makes everybody look and feel good.”

She’s been lucky enough to work with an almost immeasurable number of soon-to-be brides, but one in particular stands out in Danielle’s memory. “I had a bride who found me on Brides of Long Island, and she ended up booking her entire bridal party with me,” she recounted. “They all came two nights before the wedding, and it was such a fun ‘girls’ night out.’ I got to listen to all their stories about how they met the bride, and got to see how they interacted. The best part was that I asked her to send me some professional photos when she got them, and she ended up sending me her entire album. She said ‘I can’t decide. I love every single photo. My makeup, hair, spray tan – everything was so amazing. So you have to decide!’”

“Those 60 seconds are something you’ll remember forever.” – Beautifully Bronzed and Bare

As a former bride herself, Danielle has some thoughtful words of advice when it comes to your wedding. “Because of my own experience, I would say just let everything roll off your back,” she recommended. “Everything that went wrong on my wedding day – which was literally everything – I knew about. And it truly affected my day to the point where, looking back, I don’t think ‘wow, what a great day.’ So do not let anybody or anything bother you. Nothing is going to bring this day back. You have to enjoy it.’”

Even though Danielle doesn’t have the fondest of wedding day memories, she does treasure one special moment. “Take a minute, 60 seconds of the day with your husband. Go in the corner of the ballroom, just the two of you, and look at everything. Even though my day was horrible, I did do that with [my husband] Matt and it was the best part. Those 60 seconds are something you’ll remember forever.”

Whether you’re hosting the holiday or heading to your in-laws, these tips will help ease your stress.

The holidays. They’re a joyous time of the year. But with them can bring a lot of stress. If this is your first Thanksgiving as a married couple, it’s definitely a milestone. However, it could mean your first Thanksgiving with the in-laws. Whether you are hosting or celebrating the holiday at their home, we have you covered with some tips for your first Thanksgiving with the in-laws!

In either situation, you will want to get the lowdown from your spouse ahead of time. Find out if there are any topics you should avoid all together with specific relatives. Get advice on how to win over his parents or grandparents. And definitely ask if there are any relatives that may chew your ear off all night! By getting the lowdown beforehand, you’ll be able to reduce any tension and start building a good relationship with your in-laws.

And while you’re hitting your spouse up for the cheat sheet on his family, you can discuss a code word or term if you need help in an awkward conversation. Or even if it’s just time to go.

MORE: 7 Ways to Save For Your Wedding

Follow your spouse’s lead! Not sure which relatives are huggers? Let your spouse say hello or good-bye first. See how they act at the dinner table. If you follow their lead, you can avoid any awkward moments with relatives you might be meeting for the first time.

Use the tips your spouse gives you to start conversations. But remember to keep them light. Avoid hot-button topics like politics or religion! Find things in common with the in-laws. Are they big Islanders fans and you grew up rooting for the blue and orange? Bond over the latest win (or lament over the latest loss).

If you’ll be a guest at the in-laws, offer to bring a dish. If you can cook or bake, consider making it from scratch for extra brownie points. This blogger won over her in-laws with her now famous snickerdoodles at her first Thanksgiving. (They are now a staple at every holiday with the in-laws).

Arrive a little early? Offer to help them set-up or pass out hors d’oeuvres. And after dinner (or any course really), offer to help clean up or at least clear the dishes.

MORE: 11 Weekend Getaways for You and Your Significant Other

Offer your compliments up to the chef. And always say thank you for hosting!

Hosting your first Thanksgiving with the in-laws? Find out if there are any food allergies or dietary restrictions. Be sure to include side dishes that all of his relatives will enjoy. And speaking of food, be sure to have enough! The worst thing during a big holiday would be to run out of food. Remember, you always want to host the party where guests get to take home leftovers!

To avoid any confusion during dinner, consider making place cards of where people sit. This way you can control who sits where, as well as ensuring you will have easy access to your kitchen.

Make his mother feel special by asking for help! If you know she has a special dish, ask her to bring it. Eventually, your bond will grow and you’ll feel comfortable enough to ask her for the recipe.

The holidays are a stressful time. If you’re hosting your in-laws for the first time, there is added stress that goes along with it. This could mean you and your spouse might be on edge. If you feel any arguments coming on, keep them private.

MORE: Black Friday Wedding Shopping Guide

In the end, just remember to relax and enjoy yourself. The holidays are a great time to make new traditions, but also a great time to honor and learn the traditions of each other’s families. So, when it’s time to go around the table to say what you’re thankful for, make sure to say how grateful you are to be part of an amazing family.

In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, we spoke with Katie Osterman-DiBlasi about how she fully enjoyed every aspect of her wedding, thanks in part to her amazing day-of coordinator!

(Photo courtesy of Silverfox Studios)

Katie Osterman-DiBlasi is the first to tell you that she loves food. Which is why it was fitting that she was hungry on a bunny slope when her now-husband Larry proposed after six years of dating. “He proposed to me as I was hangry on top of this little bunny slope and he promised me pancakes afterward,” she says. “And it was great. That’s our story.”

Pandemic Planning

Katie and Larry got engaged in January of 2020. They had no idea what would be in store in the next few years leading up to their wedding. According to Katie, they started looking at venues that February. She already had an idea of which places she wanted to look at, as she explains that she had bookmarked venues since they’d been together for a while. After about 15 venue visits, Katie and Larry chose the Watermill, a BOLI preferred vendor. “They give you about 10 choices for dinner!” she says. “They had a bacon bar!” It was clearly an easy choice!
They settled on July 1, 2022 as their wedding date – which gave them plenty of time to plan, even as the world shut down.

MORE: 5 Reasons to Have a Long Engagement

After choosing their venue, Katie says they booked Silverfox Studios, a BOLI preferred vendor. But as things started to shut down, and vendors starting zooming clients, Katie slowed her planning for a bit. While she did book her hair and makeup early, she waited until the end of 2021 to book other vendors, such as her florist, DJ and transportation. “I think I was very lucky with how everything went with getting vendors and seeing them,” she says. “I would call and they were super kind and nice.”

(Photo courtesy of Silverfox Studios)

Feeling Comfortable

In addition to having a fun wedding, Katie wanted to make sure she felt comfortable and like herself. So finding a makeup artist was her top priority after booking the Watermill and Silverfox. “I wanted that feeling of being comfortable with someone who understood what I wanted on my face and [what] to look like,” she explains. Katie spoke with five makeup artists and had three different makeup trials with artists who used airbrushing. She chose Naturally by Nikki and she was thrilled! “I felt like the most beautiful that I’ve ever felt!” Katie adds that Nikki’s demeanor helped calm her nerves on her wedding day. “She made me feel more like myself,” she says. “I felt like me, but emphasized. That’s what she calls it.”

Nikki from Ink & Ivy, a BOLI preferred vendor, also helped keep Katie calm as she got ready. Both Nikkis assured her the day was going to be great and that everything was going to be perfect. They were right, of course!

MORE: How to Honor Your Step-Parents During Your Wedding

Someone else who kept Katie calm on the big day was Maeve, her day-of coordinator. “She did so much! I didn’t even know some of the vendors’ names at the Watermill who were helping us,” says Katie. This was because Maeve took care of everything. From keeping the day moving along, to dabbing away Katie’s sweat, Maeve was on top of it.

(Photo courtesy of Silverfox Studios)

Next Adventure

The theme of Katie and Larry’s wedding was sunflowers. “Those are my favorite things ever, basically.” She says her friend made the table numbers and place cards with sunflowers on them. “It made me happy to see them!”
Instead of a guest book, Katie says they had a sign that encouraged their guests to leave them notes, ideas and suggestions of where to take their next adventure together. “It was a bucket list sign for people to suggest places to go and things to do in their lifetime; experiences they wanted us to have.”

(Photo courtesy of Silverfox Studios)

Her wedding day was the best day ever, she says. From the first look at photos at Blydenburgh Park to the choreographed first dance and alternative music set, it was all so fun, she says. “It was dancing all night. And that’s all I wanted to do – dance and eat.” In fact, she says, because she took the photos before the ceremony, she actually got to sit down at her cocktail hour! “The bridal attendant brought us plates of food, people would come and say hello to us,” she says. “I just worried about enjoying the day and I did. I didn’t leave the dance floor. I ate all of my food. I enjoyed the heck out of it.”

Do What You Want

As most BOLIs do, Katie found the group extremely helpful in her planning. She utilized the search bar for reviews and suggestions. “I don’t think I could have done anything without it!”

And now that she’s graduated, she encourages other brides to “do what you want!” She explains that she and Larry paid for their wedding, so if she wanted something, she got it. “Always make sure you are your main advocate. And don’t worry about what other people want.”

MORE: Not Following Wedding Traditions and How I Stood My Ground

(Photo courtesy of Silverfox Studios)

Vendors:
Day-of Coordinator: Maeve Dowd – Flutes & Finesse
Venue: Watermill, a BOLI preferred vendor 
Photographer/Videography: Silverfox Studios, a BOLI preferred vendor 
DJ: Studio 27, a BOLI preferred vendor
Limo: Mark of Elegance, a BOLI preferred vendor 
Florist: Lindenhurst Village Florist
Hair: Ink & Ivory, BOLI preferred vendor
Makeup: Naturally by Nikki
Officiant: Aviva Sala from Church of Ancient Ways, a BOLI preferred vendor 
Invitations: Magnet Street
Dress: Max Bridal, a BOLI preferred vendor
Bridesmaid Dresses: Here Comes the Bridesmaid
Cake: Dortoni
Tuxedos: Rico’s
Hotel: Residence Inn Hauppauge
Dance Lessons: Xtreme Rhythm, a BOLI preferred vendor