Mrs. July: An Interactive Cocktail Hour and a Little DIY Made This BOLI’s Fairytale Wedding Perfect

In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, we spoke with Emily Milne about making sure her vision of a whimsical wedding came true.

After Emily and Doug Milne got engaged in 2021, her friends urged her to pick a venue sooner rather than later so they could get the date they wanted. But that didn’t pressure Emily from making sure she chose the perfect venue that checked all the boxes to make sure her rustic and whimsical wedding would be the best day ever.

Reconnecting To Find Love

Emily says she and Doug went to middle school together, but lost touch throughout high school and college. Years later, one fateful Sunday during football playoffs, she was out with her roommate in the city when she ran into Doug and his friends. They started dating shortly after for about three years before he proposed. “He proposed in August 2021 at The Edge in the city, an observatory where you can see the whole city skyline,” she says. “I was so surprised. It was perfect.”

Off and Planning

A few of Emily’s friends were planning their own weddings when she got engaged. “They got in my head, saying all of the venues were booking up because of COVID overflow,” she says. “So, we hit the ground running on venues right away.” Within several weeks of their engagement, they were booked at The Barn at Old Bethpage Village Restoration, a BOLI preferred vendor, for May 25, 2023. “We only looked at three venues. I had a very specific vision of what I wanted – rustic and open,” she says. “I wanted everything to be light and airy with twinkle lights.” She adds that she didn’t have any trouble getting a date, as she and Doug wanted either a Fall 2022 or Spring 2023 wedding.

Within a few months, most of their big vendors were booked, including Gelfman Photography, a BOLI preferred vendor. “Photography was the most important to me,” says Emily. She wanted to make sure the photographer’s style would match her vision of light and airy – like a whimsical fairytale. She also wanted a photographer who would be a good personality fit for both of them. “I knew this person was going to be with us the entire day, so I wanted to make sure we, as a couple, clicked with our photographer.” And that is why they chose Gelfman Photography.

Emily says they had no trouble booking vendors. They chose a few that were recommended by Lessing’s which made it easy. In addition, they got married on the Thursday before Memorial Day Weekend. “It turned out to work to our benefit with some of the availability.”

MORE: 39 Questions to Ask When Touring a Venue

Turning to DIY

With such a specific vision, Emily knew that she would need a lot of flowers and greenery. She did use a florist for her bouquets, but as a way to stay within their budget, she bought all of the greenery and flowers for the centerpieces and barn décor from Sam’s Club, Ikea and Amazon. In addition to making the centerpieces herself, she says she made the seating chart with wine bottles filled with flowers and twinkle lights, and all of the signage. Once they started putting everything together, they realized someone was going to have to set up the venue. “That’s when we spoke with a day-of coordinator,” Emily says. “Carleigh was amazing, as was Natalie, our bridal attendant at the Barn. Both of them set up all of the décor, and it looked so good.” Emily adds that Carleigh really went above and beyond for her big day. She says Carleigh picked up everything from her parents’ house, set it up at the venue, and then dropped everything off at the hotel at the end of the night. “It was like she was in my head, everything was just perfect.”

MORE: How to stick to your wedding budget

A Fairytale Night to Remember

Aside from having an open and airy wedding day, Emily and Doug wanted their guests to mingle during the cocktail hour. They made a giant crossword puzzle for their guests to fill in, with clues about them. They also had a custom cornhole game set up, with their names and the wedding date on it, that Emily’s dad made. “We’re activities people,” Emily says. “We couldn’t picture a cocktail hour of just standing around. We wanted to make it fun and interactive for our guests.”

A table full of family photos was set up at the venue as well. “We are very fortunate to come from families with long lines of people who stayed married,” she says. “We wanted to honor that. We had a table set up with photos of all of the couples – our grandparents and our parents.”

Throughout the night, Emily says she had several special moments. She danced with both her mom and her dad, instead of just her father, which was special to her. She also really enjoyed the best man and maid of honor speeches. “I didn’t expect them to be so emotional and touching!”

A big moment was when the DJ played “Love Story,” by Taylor Swift. “I’m a big Swiftie,” explains Emily. The part in the song when Taylor says, ‘Marry me, Juliet,’ Doug got down on one knee again. “We were literally surrounded by everyone on the dance floor. It was so fun and unexpected,” she says. “That was the fairytale, rom-com moment for me!”

But her favorite moments? Sneaking away with Doug for sunset photos outside with just the two of them. She says they were able to take a breath and reset for the rest of the night. In addition, she says she loved the limo ride from the church to the reception. “We were already married, just hanging out with our closest people, having champagne before all the whirlwind of the day started. That was really special to me.”

MORE: Summer Soiree? Fall Fête? A Breakdown of Weddings by Season.

BOLI Puts Her Mind at Ease

Emily says she utilized the BOLI Facebook page throughout planning to get vendor reviews. However, she used it the most in the weeks leading up to her wedding date. “The Barn had construction going on, so I was getting worried,” she explains. “I just kept searching for other brides in the group who got married there. Everyone was calming my anxiety, saying you couldn’t see the construction. And they were right!”

As for helping other brides, Emily urges BOLIs to find time during your wedding day for just you and your spouse. “Don’t be afraid to turn to your significant other and say you’re overwhelmed and need a break,” she says. “I think as a bride, you’re not really by yourself the whole day. So, it’s important to get some fresh air to reset.”

Vendors:
Venue: The Barn at Old Bethpage Village Restoration, a BOLI preferred vendor
Photographer: Gelfman Photography, a BOLI preferred vendor
Videography: Rick J. Studio
DJ: Absolute Entertainment, a BOLI preferred vendor
Day of Coordinator: The Day of Company
Florist: Dalsimer Spitz and Peck Floral and Events Decorators
Hair: The Sanctuary Story
Makeup: Angela Roberto MUA
Dress: North Fork Bridal Shoppe, a BOLI preferred vendor

With all of the celebrations surrounding your wedding, there are pros and cons to having a rehearsal dinner.

There are so many events that lead up to your wedding day – an engagement party, a bridal shower, the bachelor and bachelorette parties – that by the time you get to the rehearsal dinner, you may be wondering if yet another celebration is needed. It is another dinner that you have to think about. Who should you invite? Where should you have it? All of a sudden, you’re asking yourself, ‘Should I have a rehearsal dinner?’ And the answer is pretty simple – it’s totally up to you!

The history behind the rehearsal dinner was to actually rehearse your wedding ceremony. Families and bridal parties would gather at houses of worship and practice walking down the aisle, the order of the readings, etc. Nowadays, with so many people getting married at venues, it’s hard to schedule an actual rehearsal. Sure, you can have it in a backyard. But the question remains – is this necessary?

MORE: How to stick to your wedding budget

Here are some things to consider when you are deciding if you should have a rehearsal dinner.

Where You Getting Married

As we mentioned, if you’re getting married in a house of worship, usually they will host a rehearsal to run through the order of the ceremony. If you’re having the ceremony at the venue, it will be harder to schedule that actual rehearsal. In this case, you might be having just dinner out with your family and bridal party.

Out of Town Guests

Are there a lot of out-of-town friends and family members attending your wedding? If so, you might consider having a rehearsal dinner to extend time with your loved ones. You could keep it low-key and have a small get together at your home or your parents’ home.

You Are the First

Are you the first of your friends getting married? If so, you might want to consider having a rehearsal dinner. It will be a good chance to go over the rundown of the ceremony and the day ahead to alleviate any stress you may be having. However, if you and your bridal party have been in each other’s weddings, you definitely don’t need to rehearse! You already know how to line up, walk in, etc. and you don’t need to have that traditional rehearsal dinner.

Other Formalities

Oftentimes, gifts are given to your parents and bridal party during rehearsal dinners. If this is something that you want to do, maybe just have a low-key dinner without all of the bells and whistles of a rehearsal. This way you can hand out those gives in an intimate setting ahead of the big day.

Private Speeches

Sometimes, couples might choose to have their maid of honor and best man (and whoever else) give speeches at the rehearsal dinner. This allows for more time at your reception for other things that are important to you – photos, dancing, eating, mingling, etc. Also, by having the speeches at your rehearsal dinner, it takes the pressure off of those friends who might not like speaking in large crowds.

MORE: 4 Things You Should Do The Night Before Your Wedding

If you do choose to have a rehearsal dinner, there are a few things to consider. One of those things is who to invite. Some feel that rehearsal dinners should just be immediate family. Think parents, step-parents, grandparents and siblings, along with your bridal party. Others feel that other family members should be included – aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Again, this choice is totally up to you. Some things to consider though are if there are out of town guests. If you have guests who have traveled to come to your wedding, you might want to consider including them in other activities, like the rehearsal dinner.

When it comes to your bridal party, the question that always comes up is if you should have them bring a guest to the rehearsal dinner. There is no correct answer. But something to remember is that, as we’ve said, the rehearsal dinners are usually intimate, so if you’re considering allowing guests, maybe stick to spouses and fiancés.

Another thing to consider is to invite close friends. For example, if you aren’t having a bridal party (and that’s OK), you could invite those who you would have considered to your rehearsal dinner. This could be a good way to let them know you want them to be a part of your day, without having them buy the dress!

MORE: Not having a bridal party? Here’s why that’s awesome

When planning that rehearsal dinner, try to have the conversation of who will pay ahead of time. Traditionally, the groom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. But a lot of these traditions are old, and who pays for the rehearsal dinner could change if you are paying for the wedding yourselves. Whoever is paying, it’s a good idea to hash that out before the bill arrives to avoid any confusion.

Lastly, remember that the rehearsal dinner is whatever you want it to be. If you want the full rehearsal, go for it. Your house of worship or venue will be happy to accommodate as long as you are flexible with the day or night you want to have the rehearsal. If you just want an intimate dinner, that’s totally cool. And if you don’t want a rehearsal dinner at all, that’s fine. It’s your day. Do whatever will make you happy!

Should you stick to a strict budget? Or borrow money to bring your wedding visions to life? 

Your guest list tops 200, you want the string quartet AND the aerialists at the cocktail hour, and those main course upgrades look impossible to resist. You’ve been waiting your whole life for your wedding day, and let’s be real – you want it to be epic!

But if your champagne dreams are paired with a beer and wine budget (and you’re not getting much financial help from family), you may have to consider doing things a little differently. Paying for just the wedding day basics – venue, photographer, DJ – can wrack up a hefty bill. Once you’ve gotten knee-deep in vendor contracts and payment plans, you may start to wonder – “should I take out a loan for my wedding?”

• MORE: How to Stick to Your Wedding Budget

Taking out a loan

If your wedding piggy bank is feeling pretty light, taking out a personal loan could pad your funds enough to book those vendors you’ve been eyeing. But what does taking out a personal loan entail?

There are a few factors to consider when researching personal loans – the loan’s term (or length), borrowing minimums and limits, and interest rates or other fees. Most financial institutions (like banks, credit unions, or online lenders) will offer personal loans, with many extending special promotions to current account holders.  

You’ll also want to consider aspects like your credit score, current and projected monthly expenses, and your income – if you decide to take out a personal loan, you’ll want to make sure you can pay it back on time. 

Advantages of taking out a loan for your wedding

With the money secured from a personal loan, you’ll have the funds needed for the wedding you’ve always wanted!

But besides the obvious, most personal loans have fixed repayment terms which will allow you to make payments over a set amount of time, sometimes as long as several years – the kind of payment plan that many wedding vendors don’t offer.  You’ll also have lots of options when choosing your specific lender, so you can secure a personal loan with the best interest rate (which can often be lower than credit card interest rates, depending on your credit score).  Speaking of your credit score – making personal loan repayments consistently and on-time can help boost that number. 

• MORE: 7 Ways to Save for Your Wedding

Disadvantages of taking out a loan for your wedding

The biggest disadvantage to taking out a personal loan is that because of the interest, you’ll actually be paying MORE for your wedding day expenses.  For example – if you take out a $10,000 loan for a term of 2 years with a 7% interest rate, you’ll end up paying back around $10,745.

You’ll also be tacking on another monthly payment in addition to your rent or mortgage, utilities, car payment, and other financial responsibilities. In the same $10,000 loan scenario from above, you’d be making payments of approximately $450 a month – money that could instead be used for things like home-buying funds or other major life purchases. Using a loan calculator like this one can help you estimate your monthly loan repayment amounts. 

Should you take out a loan for your wedding?

The answer to this question will be different for everyone, depending on individual circumstances. But one financial expert we spoke to cautioned against it.

 

 

Paul Lee, owner of Rivmont Bespoke, believes that the groom’s attire is almost as important as the bride’s…almost

Finding “the dress” has become a pivotal rite of passage for many brides, and for good reason – it’s the gown you’ll wear at one of the most beautiful moments of your life. Such an important garment requires incredible care, attention to detail, and expertise to ensure that it looks like it was created especially for you.

But in many instances, the groom and his attire gets overshadowed during the bridal preparations. Why is that the case? Your wedding is a day that holds just as much meaning for your future husband as it does for you. Shouldn’t he also deserve to look and feel his best during such a vitally significant moment?

Paul Lee, owner and lead tailor of BOLI Preferred Vendor Rivmont Bespoke, answers that question with a resounding “yes!” That’s why he’s dedicated to helping grooms express themselves through custom-tailored suits, tuxedos, and shirts. 

• MORE: Gifts Your Groomsmen Will Love

“I was actually able to pull the trigger and make a name for myself.”

There’s no denying that Paul knows his way around a suit. “I’ve been in the custom suiting business for 13 years, starting off as a fitter and then slowly becoming the training manager,” he remembered. “By 2014 I was hiring and training a lot of the tailors that are pretty active now in the industry. I started managing six stores in New York, one in Philadelphia, Center City, and Amsterdam, Netherlands.”

Paul’s international responsibilities planted the seeds for starting his own venture. “The time difference there is six hours, so I had a lot of time for myself to reflect and think about how I could make this process more personal. And then in 2020, during Covid, is when I was actually able to pull the trigger and make a name for myself.”

“This was a different type of service.”

Covid not only supplied the motivation for starting Rivmont Bespoke, but it also inspired the way Paul serves his clientele. “I had a friend who was getting married and wanted a tuxedo for himself,” he remembered. “Obviously in 2020, a lot of the retailers were closing down, or forcefully shut down, and he couldn’t get into the stores. He wanted me to just make it for him, which I was able to do, and I realized that this was a different type of service.”

At the time, a mobile fitter that came to you was a necessity. But as time went on, Paul discovered that this protocol provided a much more humanizing experience. “I saw how everything was changing, turning into ‘delivery-friendly,’ with everyone leaving offices. So I thought, moving forward, making this a more personable experience was actually more luxurious. Going to someone’s home and working with them to build a suit or tuxedo, I was able to really execute and provide a better result for each individual.”

“If they’ve never gotten a custom suit before, I guide them through each step of the way.”

So what should your fiancé expect when making an appointment with Rivmont Bespoke? “When it’s an event like a wedding, most of the time I find that they have some sort of an idea of what they want – sometimes they’ll go through Pinterest, or be interested in a specific style,” Paul described. “Then I’ll dive into that style more specifically, based on their body type and so on.”

“If they’ve never gotten a custom suit before, I guide them through each step of the way,” he continued. “When a person has no idea what they want, I’ll start from the beginning.”

• MORE: 7 Groomsmen Photos That Will Make You Laugh

“I remember the feeling I got was just indescribable.”

When asked about a favorite wedding memory, Paul returned to his first groom – the friend who requested a custom-made tuxedo. “That first experience was definitely one I’ll treasure for the rest of my life,” he said. “Not only was I able to be creative – with the monogram, what he wrote inside the jacket, using certain colors that were meaningful to him and his bride – but everything just came out so beautifully.”

“I was part of the wedding, I was part of the ceremony through that suit that I made for him,” he added. “I remember the feeling I got was just indescribable.”

“There’s a reason why you’re making it all-custom.”

Paul has several valuable words of advice for brides (and grooms!) of Long Island. “When you come up with a style, really focus on what’s important to you and on being yourself instead of just trying to mimic or copy someone else,” he suggested. “There’s a reason why you’re making it all-custom. When we’re building a garment completely from scratch, trust the fitter and their guidance in terms of the style. The process can be scary for some since it’s uncertain, but 10 out of 10 times when they see the results, they’re happy.”

He also recommends treating your tux or suit fittings the same way you’d treat a dress fitting. “When I got married, I remember the preparation time and commuting to get fitted,” Paul recounted. “Usually for the bride, that’s where the focus is – they’re getting fitted for the dress and trying it on over and over. I think that’s where our mobile service really saves time, which is so crucial. The groom could still be focusing on the bride and helping in whatever way he can, while the fitter is at the location of his convenience, fitting the suit and allowing him to try it on.” 

“But the turnaround time is very important. The groom should consider at least two to three months before the actual event, so that we don’t have to rush through the process. It’s great if we get everything right on the first shot, but a first, second, and maybe even up to a third fitting should be considered.” 

Finally, grooms should keep in mind the high-quality that comes with a customized suit or tux. “I know it’s clichè, but price is something that everyone is very sensitive about during wedding planning,” Paul explained. “In terms of our fabric materials, I can say that we have such amazing, renowned mills like Zegna, Loro PIana, Vitale Barberis who is our number one buying company, so the quality for the price is there.”

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You want flawless hair and makeup for the big day! Here are 27 questions to ask when choosing a hair and makeup artist, so you’ll know that you’re working with someone who can execute your vision. 

 

Natural glow or glitzed-up glam? Boho waves or a sleek up do? Whatever your preferences, you’ll need a hair and makeup artist that can execute your vision with stunning results. 

But not all hair and makeup artists are exactly the same! Some specialize in big and bold looks, and some excel at subtly highlighting your gorgeous features. Here are 27 questions to ask when choosing a hair and makeup artist:

• MORE: Check out these highly-rated BOLI Preferred Vendors for Hair and Makeup!

Style

1. Do you do both hair and makeup? Do you hire out for one of these services?

2. Have you worked on brides and bridal parties before?

3. What looks or styles are your speciality?

4. Can you achieve the look I want? Will I need extensions, etc.?

5. Is there a place where I can see your work? (Check out our Preferred Vendor page!)

6. Have you worked with clients that have similar skin tones/skin conditions as me?

7. Have you worked with clients that have similar hair to mine?

8. Have you worked on clients that share my ethnic background?

9. Have you worked with clients who are around the same age as me?

10. What products do you use?

11. Do you do airbrushing?

12. Do you apply false lashes?

13. What are your sanitary practices?

14. Do you do hair extensions? 

Pricing

15.  What’s your rate for brides/bridal party/mothers?

16. What does your rate include? Are there any discounts based on size of party or other factors?

17. Do you travel? Do you charge a travel fee?

18. Do you do trials? What does a trial entail? Do you travel for trials?

19. Can you stay for the ceremony/reception for touchups? What is your rate for that?

20. Is there a deposit required to secure my date?

21. Is there a contract?

22. What types of payment do you accept? Are there any payment plans available?

Schedule

23. Are you available on my date? Are you available at the time I’ll need you to start?

24. How many weddings do you do a day?

25. Do you work with assistants/other artists?

26. What are your backup plans in case of emergency or unexpected illness?

27. Approximately how long will it take to complete services for my party?

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In Brides of Long Island’s Monthly “Mrs.” series, we profile some of our members’ unforgettable weddings. This month, we spoke with Marianne and Jessica Sheehan-Bell about how taking moments to soak in the day was a top priority to them.

Most graduated BOLIs will tell you that taking some quiet time – just you and your new spouse – is important. And Marianne and Jessica Sheehan-Bell made sure to do just that. In fact, Marianne says Jessica would pull her aside every 45 minutes to make sure they took some time for just the two of them to really appreciate the day and the love in the room.

From Co-Workers to Soulmates

Marianne says she and Jessica actually worked together for about two or three years before they officially met. “We went out for a mutual co-worker’s birthday and hit it off,” she says. About three years later, Jessica proposed on Aug. 15, 2020. “It was very intimate and also very silly,” says Marianne. She explains that Jessica got their puppy in on the proposal, with a bandana that said ‘Will you marry my human?’ It was the perfect proposal, as Marianne says it was important that they keep their proposal private. “I’m not big on being the center of attention,” she says.

Pandemic Planning

When Jessica and Marianne started planning in September 2020, things were starting to open up, but she says that there were still restrictions like mask requirements and dancing in squares. They wanted a 2022 wedding, but kept an open mind if they had to push it out to 2023. But luck was on their side. “We were really fortunate, the date we picked in 2022 was just before official wedding season, so every vendor that we wanted was available,” says Marianne.

As they started their planning, there were a few venues that fell within their budget. Sea Cliff Manor was on that list – so it was the second venue they looked at. “It was so unique and so quaint, and offered one wedding at a time,” says Marianne. As they went down their list, they quickly realized that Sea Cliff Manor checked all of the boxes. Soon after that venue tour, they booked their wedding for April 29, 2022.

MORE: 39 Questions to Ask When Touring a Venue

After the venue was booked, they started tackling the rest of their vendor list. Marianne says she got used to that search bar on the BOLI page pretty quickly to get reviews and ideas for their wedding. “I don’t know what brides would do if this wasn’t a thing,” she says.

For Marianne and Jessica, having their wedding memories documented in photos and video were most important. “It’s about taking the memories with us, so for me, the most important vendor was the photographer,” says Marianne. Jessica seconds that and says, “I really just wanted us to have the ability to relive our day over and over.” And this is why a videographer was most important for her.

Incorporating Color (and Their Pups)

It was important for Marianne and Jessica to incorporate themselves throughout the day. And to do that, they made sure to have bold and bright colors – in their flowers, in their decorations – everything was colorful. “The more color, the better,” she says. “We really just wanted to make sure our personalities were coming through and that when everyone walked in, they would say ‘OK, yes, they definitely planned this.’”

Besides having lots of color and sparkles, they wanted their beloved puppies by their side. Marianne says Raisin and Toomey came for the photos – and stole the show! “Raisin is a little high-strung,” she explains. “And when she got there, she saw us and bolted into the venue!” Luckily, Jessica was there and they were able to get Raisin to calm down so they could take photos. Even though Raisin and Toomey couldn’t stay the whole time, they were there in spirit on the cocktail napkins and their cake.

MORE: 12 Ways to Propose to Your Bridal Party

Taking in the Moments

It was extremely important to Marianne and Jessica to really soak in the day. “The whole day was more than I could have imagined,” says Marianne. She says Jessica really made sure that they took time out throughout the night to either get some air or take a picture, just something that was just for the two of them. “That is something I don’t think I realized how important it would be,” she says. “But looking back, I’m so grateful that she did that.” Jessica echoes that sentiment. “It was so special when my wife and I made sure we had time to ourselves,” she says. “We’d take a step back and look around and really take in the moment.”

Another wow moment for Marianne? Jessica surprised her with uplighting in front of the DJ booth. “Jessica is very bad with surprises,” she says. “I couldn’t believe she kept this a secret from me. And it looked amazing!”

Making sure those memories were recorded? Studio 27, a BOLI preferred vendor. “From our engagement shoot to the end of the wedding, Boy Wonder was just phenomenal,” says Marianne. “He was always conscious of making suggestions or making us laugh. I never felt uncomfortable. I would recommend Studio 27 to anyone!” And the bonus, Marianne and Jessica had Studio 27 for photos, videos and their DJ. “They were just wonderful.”

For Jessica, the maître de Ian at Sea Cliff Manor went above and beyond making sure their day was special. “He made sure we had everything we needed the day before and the day of,” she says. “He was incredible.”

MORE: Offering the trifecta of terrific wedding day services, the team at Studio 27 is one any couple would love on their special day! 

Clean Your Hotel Room

Most graduated BOLIs will tell you to make sure you eat on your wedding day, to enjoy the moments or to take time for the two of you. And Marianne says those are great pieces of advice. However, she says, “Ask your bridal party to tidy up the hotel room for your wedding night!” She explains that she used the same hotel room to get ready. “We popped so much confetti in there! And it never dawned on me that I would be sleeping in the same room later that night!”

Jessica recommends not overthinking anything you want for your special day. “It’s your and your partner’s day!” she says. She adds not to worry because in the end everything comes together. And of course, she says “During the wedding, take a step back and look around. Take in your surroundings with your partner, because it is amazing.”

Vendors:
Venue: Sea Cliff Manor
Photographer: Studio 27, a BOLI preferred vendor
Videography: Studio 27, a BOLI preferred vendor
DJ: Studio 27, a BOLI preferred vendor 
Florist: Lauren Taylor Floral Elegance, a BOLI preferred vendor
Hair & Makeup: Jess’s Side – Kate Ford Beauty Inc, a BOLI preferred vendor; Marianne’s Side – Gemini Salon & Garden
Invitations: Penelope’s Paper Pantry (an Etsy Store)
Dress: Kleinfeld’s – Disney by Allure
Bridesmaid Dresses: Jess’s Side – Azazie; Marianne’s Side – Revelry
Cake: Beautifauxl Cakes, a BOLI Preferred Vendor
Doughnuts: Doughology
Tuxedos: Jess’s tux was custom made by Giorgenti Custom Suits; Bridesmen’s suits were rented from Men’s Warehouse

Featuring white sand, majestic palms, and newly-renovated facilities with a tropical vibe, The Crescent Beach Club is the ideal location for a destination wedding – no travel required!

Since the moment you began planning, your heart’s been set on a beachfront wedding. The calm waves, the sandy shores, the palm trees swaying in the breeze – it’s the perfect setting to say “I do.”

But when you consider all the logistics of a destination wedding, you might start to think the task is too overwhelming. Should you give up dreams of tropical paradise and settle for something a little closer to home? Luckily, Brides of Long Island can have the best of both worlds: a beachside wedding with the feel of an exotic locale right in our own neighborhood, thanks to BOLI Preferred Vendor The Crescent Beach Club!

• MORE: 6 of the Best Wedding Planners on Long Island

“We just became this very tropical paradise.”

Tucked away on the prestigious North Shore, The Crescent Beach Club often feels more like a romantic getaway than a Long Island institution. “It’s a private beach, and we do one wedding at a time,” said The Crescent Beach Club’s director of sales Denise Chevalier. “We just became this very tropical paradise. I joke around with brides when I meet them, especially if it’s their first time here, ‘you’re in so much trouble. If you’re looking for a destination wedding and something that’s unique, I give you everything.’ Nine times out of ten they call back and say ‘you were so right.’”

Augmenting that tropical feeling are The Crescent Beach Club’s famous palm trees, which they welcome each year with an exciting Instagram countdown. “It’s a month-long process of going to the homestead and hand-picking the palm trees, putting them on a truck, and getting them here,” explained Denise. Additional palm trees and plants are provided thanks to a movie that was shot at The Crescent Beach Club.  “Matt Silver the GM/COO and his team put together a wonderful production.  He has an amazing eye for seeing things and putting them into perspective.  He truly devotes his time and endless effort to make sure everything runs smooth and comes together,” said Denise. “Once all the palm trees get planted, which takes three days, white sand is brought in. Then we bring  in very colorful, vibrant tropical flowers that are placed on the fence . There you have it – a tropical paradise!”

While the setting is serene and sublime, it’s the extra details that will elevate your shoreside experience. “We offer beach bonfires, s’mores, a fast food station that goes along with the beach bonfire,” said Jenna Donofrio, The Crescent Beach Club’s social media manager. “We offer cigar rollers as well, which is always fun. Hawaiian dancers come along and they do fire dances which is really amazing. It truly elevates your experience.”

“We just took it to the next level.”

With the “beach” aspect of The Crescent Beach Club perfected, the staff decided to focus their recent design ambitions on interiors. “We just completed a lot of renovations, and we just took it to the next level,” Denise described. 

“In the ballroom, we have hardwood floors. The rugs are gone, we put in a brand new floor. We have doors that go out onto the patio – they’re floor-to-ceiling doors, humongous. We ended up painting them a very light color so that now when you walk in the room, you actually don’t even see the doors. Your eyes go right out onto the water. It’s breathtaking. I know I work here and I’m saying that, but it’s beautiful.”

But the ballroom isn’t where the renovations end. “In the bridal suite – again, we got rid of the rugs and put in hardwood floors. This year we’ll add radiant-heated floors as well,” Denise added.  “We also changed the wallpaper to a very simple, modern flower pattern that just uplifts the room. It’s a nice feeling – seeing that these changes have made such a big difference.”

“I think it’s really interesting to bring local businesses here.”

There’s no doubt that the surroundings are stunning at The Crescent Beach Club, but as any bride knows – you can’t have a good party without good food. So of course, The Crescent Beach Club excels when it comes to cuisine. 

“Our head chef, Valeria Vegvari, studied abroad and worked in French restaurants,” Denise recounted. “She’s just an amazing chef. When the owner comes here to check in, he’ll walk in and go right to Chef Val and ask ‘what can you make me today?’ This is a man who can go anywhere he wants, and he always wants her food because it’s so rich and flavorful.”

To give future Crescent couples a taste of what to expect, The Crescent Beach Club hosts two intimate bridal showcases each year. “We wanted to make things a little bit more quaint and more personable,” explained Denise. “What’s nice is they’re meeting the chef, they’re meeting Stacie DeRosa the event manager and coordinator of events and her fabulous staff, they’re meeting their exclusive bridal attendant and our house vendors. We do this so the bride and groom can get a feel of their wedding here. While they are here, the couples get to see the chef in action and see her attention to detail.  You will be getting a feel of what it entails to cook for 600 people.”

Even though The Crescent Beach Club feels like a paradise far from home, they frequently feature and celebrate Long Island-based businesses. “We carry craft beer from different Long Island breweries, one being Garvies. Our General Manager/COO [Matt Silver] is also the General Manager there also,” Jenna said. “I think it’s really interesting to bring local businesses here. Long Island is big on wineries and craft beer and a lot of couples, especially the grooms, love the craft beer that we have to offer.” 

“The other way we like to incorporate local businesses is with our seafood,” Denise added. “Most of our seafood is from The Bridge Marina. We like to keep everything close to home and utilize companies that are from the area and support local businesses.

• MORE: 11 Places to Take Engagement Photos on Long Island

“Everyone is equally invested in the ‘happily ever after’ of all the brides who come here.”

A tight-knit, dedicated staff works diligently to keep The Crescent Beach Club one of Long Island’s most sought-after venues. “It’s a small office, so it’s not like you’re being tossed from one person to another.  We dedicated our time, attention and commitment to each client,” commented Denise. “Everyone is equally invested in making your dreams into reality, of all the brides who come here. We love saying ‘‘I’m going to take your dream and I’m going to make it come true with my assistance, and my wonderful and hard working staff.’”

“I feel like that’s what sets us apart from other places,” Jenna included. “You book a wedding here and you immediately get so close with everyone in the building. You feel like you belong here.”

“It starts from the top with our General Manager/COO, Matt Silver,” Denise continued. “We always hold meetings together asking ‘How can we make things better? Are we staying with the times and changing the things the way our brides and grooms are changing?’ Flexibility is important. You have to be flexible and you have to be caring. All of us are caring, knowledgeable, understanding, and very flexible from the start to the end. We all have worked together and have known each for a long time and have seen our families grow.” 

“Our past, present, and future brides come and visit us.”

Many brides have to say farewell to their venues once their weddings have come and gone. But thanks to The Ocean Restaurant, located within The Crescent Beach Club, you can experience the same serenity of your wedding day for years to come. “Our past, present, and future couples come and visit us and eat in the restaurant,” explained Denise. “It’s amazing how many people will have their anniversary dinners here. They come with their families and I get to meet their kids. It’s a really special feeling.”  

 

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The wedding is the main event, but don’t forget the engagement party, the rehearsal dinner, and the bachelorette…the list goes on. So, who pays for what in a wedding? Here’s who foots the bill, according to traditional etiquette.

Your engagement is such an exciting time – not only because you’re deep into wedding planning, but also because of the fun events leading up to the big day. Between engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and the of course the main event, you may start to wonder – who pays for what in a wedding? Should you be covering most of the costs? Should your parents be paying for the wedding AND the engagement party?

The truth of the matter is, a lot of time-old “traditions” are a thing of the past. We live in a very different world than we did 50, 40, or even 30 years ago. While etiquette norms do dictate certain financial responsibilities when it comes to weddings, the reality is that there’s no “right” way to fund your wedding events. It’s entirely based on each couple’s (and their families’ and friends’) situations. 

With that being said, here are the traditional financial responsibilities for you, your family, and your bridal party. But remember – most weddings today stray from these guidelines at least a little. 

• MORE: How to Stick to Your Wedding Budget

Events leading up to the wedding

Engagement party: the bride and her family

Bridal shower: the host of the shower, which is traditionally either the relatives of the bride (like aunts or cousins) or the Maid of Honor. Most of the time, this expense is split between multiple people (i.e., other members of the bridal party, the bride’s mother, etc.)

Bachelor/Bachelorette party: the members of the bridal party

Rehearsal dinner: the groom’s family

The wedding day

The bride’s family is responsible for: Ceremony venue. reception venue; bride’s attire; flowers and decor; wedding cake; photography and videography; transportation/lodging for bridesmaids

The groom’s family is responsible for: marriage license and officiant; bride’s bouquet, boutonnières, and corsages; transportation/lodging for groomsmen; DJ/band.

The bride is responsible for: bridesmaids’ dresses; bridesmaids’ hair and makeup; groom’s wedding band; wedding gifts for groom, bridesmaids, and parents

The groom is responsible for: engagement ring and wedding band for the bride; groom’s attire; groomsmen attire, gifts for the groomsmen and bride 

• MORE: 7 Ways to Save for Your Wedding

After the wedding

Morning after brunch: the bride’s family

Honeymoon and associated costs: the groom’s family

Paying for your wedding

Before you begin planning, it’s important to sit down with your fiancé and both of your families to discuss realistic budgets and contributions. Traditional etiquette is nice in some instances, but it isn’t the law. If your fiancé’s family wants to pay for more than they’re expected, let them! On the flip side, if they’d put themselves into mountains of debt trying to host a rehearsal dinner, brainstorm an alternative. 

Traditional etiquette also doesn’t account for two brides getting married, or two grooms getting married. So, again – more reason to throw “tradition” out the window and plan your day in a way that works for you!

 

 

 

 

The joining of two families is a joyous time, so it is important to honor traditions of both sides.

Honoring you and your future spouse’s heritage or religion is going to be important on your wedding day. But it doesn’t have to be stressful. There are plenty of brides who are planning to honor two cultures on their wedding day. And there are plenty of graduated brides who can tell you firsthand how they honored two cultures on their wedding day.

Our Mrs. December in our BOLI of the Month series actually planned two weddings while she was in medical school. And both were beautiful and honored her and her now husband’s cultures. Tamara Simpson Agbeyegbe says she planned an American wedding, complete with premiere entertainment. And she planned a second wedding because her husband is Nigerian. Tamara says she and her husband Tosan consulted with his family to plan the Nigerian wedding. “It was really special to learn the different ceremony pieces and the traditions,” says Tamara. “It was really great to embrace his culture and represent it well.” And while she admits it was overwhelming planning two weddings, she was able to lean on their families to make sure everything was perfect and flawless.

BOLI Sarah Paray, our Mrs. Maldives, had a full multicultural wedding weekend – complete with Catholic and Hindu ceremonies and a reception. She says they were so happy to make sure their religious upbringings were represented throughout their wedding weekend out east.

But you don’t have to have two separate weddings to honor the different cultures of you and your future spouse. It could be something simple like having officiants of two different faiths. BOLIs Valerie T. and Melissa S. did this. “We had a cantor and a father marry us. They each gave blessings from each faith,” Melissa S. says. She adds that they had Jewish marriage customs, such as the Ketubah signing and breaking the glass, as well as some Catholic traditions, such as a unity candle. “It was such a beautiful ceremony combining two cultures and faiths.”

BOLI Christina J. says that they are having their wedding at an Italian venue. And she plans to say part of her vows in Spanish, to honor her future husband and his family.

MORE: I’m Getting Married for the Second Time – How Should I Celebrate?

The ceremony isn’t the only place you could honor two cultures on your wedding day. Some BOLIs will be wearing dresses of different cultures, while others are incorporating music or dances during their receptions. BOLI Novella D. says she is half Greek and half Italian and her future husband is Jewish. “We’re going to have a Greek band perform traditional and modern songs,” she says. “And we’re also going to do the Horah and Tarantella.” Meanwhile, BOLI Karen M. says they had a mariachi band during cocktail hour to honor her Mexican heritage, and an Italian singer during their reception for her husband.

And don’t forget! There are other parts of your wedding that you can incorporate two cultures. Instead of a rehearsal dinner, BOLI Nicole C. says she is planning a traditional Chinese tea ceremony.

MORE: Not Following Wedding Traditions and How I Stood My Ground

However you decide to honor two different faiths or cultures, just know that it’s going to be perfect. It is important to remember what is important to you and your future spouse. It can be difficult to please everyone – with any type of wedding planning – so it’s best to sit with your future spouse to decide how YOU want to represent each other’s cultures. Once you decide that, then you can plan accordingly to celebrate the joining of two families on your wedding day.

Want to hand someone else the wedding planning reins? Here are 9 of the best Long Island Wedding Planners!

Some brides-to-be will bust out the spreadsheets before their fiancés even buy the ring! But if the thought of coordinating vendors, putting together timelines, and scheduling appointments is making you panic, you may want to consider hiring a wedding planner. They’ll take care of all the overwhelming details so that you can sit back and enjoy your wedding, instead of stressing out for months before the big day. Here are 9 of the best Long Island wedding planners:

• MORE: 6 Reasons Why You Should Hire a Wedding Planner

 

La Bella Planners

Founded in 2011 by a mother and her daughter, La Bella Planners specializes in planning your high-end wedding and luxury events. Their hands-on approach and vast network of top-rated vendors means you’ll have a true dream team at your fingertips.

 

Worth a Shot Events, Inc.

After falling in love with the J-Lo flick “The Wedding Planner,” Worth a Shot Events, Inc. owner and founder Jennifer Enright quickly turned a passion into a reality. Working in nearly all aspects of the hospitality industry has made her a true expert in her field, and she brings that knowledge and talent to every event she plans. 

 

Events by Shannon

This two-time BOLI Diamond Award winner LOVES weddings! Ever since Shannon planned her own wedding several years ago, her passion and expertise for curating epic events has skyrocketed. She offers full planning services for those who need ALL the help, as well as month-of coordination if you need someone at the last minute!

• MORE: 19 Questions to Ask When Hiring a Wedding Planner

 

Sand & Tee Events

When looking for a wedding planner, you’ll want someone who is passionate about what they do and who look forward to bringing your wedding day visions to life. Sand & Tee Events fits this to a…well, Tee!

 

Elite Wedding Planning

While working with a planner for his own wedding, owner Rich Weimer discovered his knack for the small details and the creative process. After an apprenticeship with his former vendor and now mentor, he struck out on his own to help create the beautiful weddings of his clients’ dreams!

 

Eventful by Alexa

Owner Alexa loves to create beautiful things, but more importantly, she loves to create beautiful memories. Acting as your BFF and confidante, she’ll iron out all the details of your day so you can be fully present when you say “I do!”

 

Pop Up Vows

Pop Up Vows owner Lauren specializes in elopement planning and curating intimate weddings. She strives to create unforgettable moments that reflect your love and individuality. If elopement is on your radar, you’ll want to contact Pop Up Vows!

 

XS Events + Design

The “X” in Xclusive represents owner Trisha’s multicultural background, ensuring a diverse and inclusive approach to every event! XS Events + Design creates personalized experiences that cater to your unique needs and preferences, whether you’re looking for planning, coordination, or design packages.  

 

Unruffled Wedding & Events

Owners Emily and Kritzie understand that your wedding day is one of the most significant moments of your life, and they’re committed to turning your dreams into reality! While they offer full planning, month-of coordination, partial planning and design, they will customize any package to fit your unique needs.