Attending a Wedding? Follow These Important Wedding Etiquette Rules

No one wants to be “that” guest. Make sure you follow these important wedding etiquette rules!

We all know what big, fancy envelopes in our mailboxes mean — we’ve been invited to a wedding! If you’re currently in the middle of planning your own, attending a friend or family member’s wedding is a great way to get ideas for your forthcoming big day.

But you’ll also want to make sure that you’re remembered in a positive light. As a guest, there are a few important wedding etiquette rules you’ll want to follow. And suprisingly, some of them aren’t exactly “common sense.” Here are the etiquette rules you’ll need to remember as a guest.

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RSVP

Trust us — when it’s your turn, you’ll get it! RSVPs are one of the most frustrating elements of any bride-to-be’s wedding. Missing RSVPs past the due date, guests adding in plus-ones that weren’t included, clearly stating “black tie” and having someone show up in jeans…you get the picture.

So when you’re invited to a wedding, remember the following:

• Return your RSVP before the requested date.
• Only extend the invitation to others if they’re included on the RSVP and the envelope. 
• Pay attention to all information included with the invitation! This goes for dress code, whether or not children are invited, hotel block and travel information, etc.
• Let the couple know of any food allergies or diet restrictions now, so that they can plan with the venue accordingly. 
• Missing RSVPs yourself? Here’s how to handle it. 

The Ceremony

If there’s ever a time to make sure you’re mindful of wedding etiquette, it’s the ceremony. This is the most reverent and meaningful part of the whole day, and any etiquette faux pas — even unintentional ones — can leave a negative mark.

• Arrive at the ceremony at least 10 minutes before its scheduled start time. Yes — even if you know they’ll be starting late!
• Account for traffic, parking, and other transportation issues in your travel time.
• If you run into difficulties, don’t call or text the couple. They’re busy! If it’s an urgent matter, contact a member of the bridal party.
• If you’re late, don’t enter the ceremony space until after the ceremony is underway. Once the officiant has begun speaking, find a seat quietly.
• Silence your cell phones and any other devices that make noise. If the couple has requested an “unplugged” ceremony, put your phones away and out of sight.
• Even if the couple hasn’t requested an “unplugged” ceremony, be respectful. If you’d like to take a few candid shots, do so discreetly and out of the photographer’s eye line. And never text, make calls, or create social media posts during the ceremony.
• If children are present and they start making noise or other distractions, quietly remove them from the ceremony space. Return with them once they’ve calmed down.
• If there are ushers, sit where they’ve directed you. If no ushers are present, look around for any indications on where you should sit. If there are no indications present, sit where you’d like!
• Unless there’s an emergency (or you’re directed otherwise), stay seated for the entire ceremony. 
• After the ceremony, wait until the newlyweds, bridal party and family members have exited before you get up to leave.

 

The Reception

It’s time to party! For most wedding guests, the reception is the fun part of the festivities. But that doesn’t mean wedding etiquette goes out the window! Keep these things in mind as you hit the dance floor.

• Sit at your assigned table. When it’s your turn, you’ll realize how much time and planning goes into making a seating chart! More likely than not, the couple has made sure you’re sitting with friends, family, or other people at the wedding that you know. If you don’t know anyone, they’ll probably sit you with like-minded people that share common backgrounds or interests.
• Bring a gift, or plan to send one shortly after the wedding. Traditional wedding etiquette dictates that you have a year to send gifts, but many couples will begin writing thank you notes well before the year mark. 
• Follow all of the venue’s rules. This is true for any venue, but especially for venues that also function as art houses, museums, hotels, restaurants, or other places of business. 
• Drink responsibly. Enjoy yourself and have fun, but stay in control and know your limits. 
• If you’re responsible for children that have been invited, ensure their safety and keep an eye on them at all times. Don’t allow them to run around or play unattended. If they’re being distracting during key moments like the first dance or bridal party speeches, quietly remove them from the venue until they’ve calmed down.
• Talk, laugh, and dance with other guests! Having fun is the best compliment you can give to the couple.
• Keep a positive attitude and any negative critiques to yourself. Remember that the couple has worked hard to create a beautiful wedding.
• If anything needs attention during the reception (a bathroom that’s out of order, a fellow guest that needs assistance, a missing place setting), let venue staff know. Don’t report any issues to the couple. Again, they’re busy!
• Unless you’ve communicated otherwise, plan to stay for the whole reception. If you need to leave slightly early, be sure to wish the couple well before you go. 

• MORE: Stay on top of planning with Ring Leader