There are other ways to include your sister if you choose another maid of honor.
Choosing your bridal party is a big decision. And when it comes to choosing your maid of honor, you’re going to look to your nearest and dearest, as this will be your ‘person’ throughout wedding planning. But you’re probably asking yourself, “do I have to make my sister my maid of honor?”
The short answer is no, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But you should ask yourself a few questions before making your final decision. Should your sister be your maid of honor, or should it be your ride or die bestie since elementary school?
What are your expectations in the role?
Some brides lean heavily on their maid of honor. From accompanying you to vendor appointments (think dress shopping) to planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party and just being there for moral support, your maid of honor’s responsibilities can seem endless. You should think about what you expect your maid of honor to do and how much you want them involved in your wedding planning. If you need someone by your side throughout the process, and your sister isn’t really a planner, she may not be the right person for the role.
How close are you to your sister?
Do some soul searching with this question. You should know in your heart if you want your sister by your side as your maid of honor. If you grew up thick as thieves and she’s still the person you run to first, then you’ll know it’s the right decision. But if you’re not that close, and you have a childhood friend who you consider family, then she might be a more appropriate choice.
Who do you want by your side?
Another soul searching question. Who is it that you want standing beside you – literally and figuratively – on your wedding day? Being a maid of honor is a big responsibility, even if you don’t want them too involved in your planning process. Usually they’re the ones signing your marriage license and standing next to you as you say your vows. They hold your bouquet, fluff your dress and make you shine. So really think about who you want that person to be.
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How do you break the news?
If you’ve decided not to make your sister your maid of honor, it might be tough to break the news to her. You know your sister best, so you’ll know in your heart how to let her down gently. While she may be hurt, just remember it is your wedding and it’s not about anyone else – not even your sister.
And remember, there are other ways to include her in your wedding without making her your maid of honor. She could be part of your bridal party, she could read something during your ceremony, or she could give a speech at the reception. You could even do a special dance with her! You can definitely be creative in the ways you include your sister in your wedding day.
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This is your wedding, and you should do things your way. Just because it may be ‘tradition’ to make your sister your maid of honor, that doesn’t mean you have to follow it. In fact, you may want to ditch the titles of ‘maid of honor’ and ‘bridesmaids’ altogether, and just have a group of your family and friends that helps you plan. Whatever you decide, just know that your wedding will be the best day ever.
