In Brides of Long Island’s “Am I a Bridezilla?” the BOLI team weighs in on an anonymous submission asking that dreaded question. What do you think?
Dear BOLI,
I’m a 2026 bride-to-be, but I’m also a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding early next year. That’s what I’m asking you about today.
I love my best friend dearly and am so happy to be included in wedding. Our personalities and styles don’t match, but that’s always been okay with me. I believe in being yourself and expressing yourself however your want.
My best friend picked out the bridesmaids dresses we will be wearing, and I have to be blunt here — they are hideous. The color is this weird puke-green, the fabric is very unforgiving, the design is not going to be flattering for any of the body types in her wedding. The ONLY positive is that it’s cheap (for good reason). I don’t know what she was thinking picking these dresses for everyone.
We’ve always come to each other for advice, so I let her know my opinions on the dress. I told her I hated it so much that I refused to wear it, and I would pick out my own dress. She got really mad at me and called me a “bridesmaidzilla,” which I thought was funny because I don’t think that even exists?
This has caused a huge fight between us, and she hasn’t talked to me in a week. I keep trying to make contact, offering her other options for the dress or sending her things that I could wear myself, but she hasn’t responded. Do you think I’m being a “bridesmaidzilla?”
Signed,
No Gross Dresses
Dear No Gross Dresses,
“Bridesmaidzillas” do exist, and yes — you are definitely being one here.
You said you “always come to each other for advice” so you gave her your opinion on the dress. But did she actually ASK for your advice? If she didn’t, then you’re giving her a very unsolicited take on her choices. If she did, then you’re expressing your thoughts in a super-negative and demanding way. Refusing to wear the dress she picked isn’t your opinion, it’s an intentional act that goes against what she wants.
Each of you have your own style, so what’s “hideous,” “weird puke-green,” “unforgiving,” and “not flattering” to you is going to be something completely different to your friend. If you (rightfully) believe it’s okay for her to express herself, then that applies to her wedding day too. And her bridesmaid dresses are a part of her wedding day.
Your number one job as a bridesmaid is to support the bride as she prepares for marriage. Complaining about her dress choice and refusing to wear it is the opposite of support. It’s making your friend’s wedding about you and what you like when the day is not about you — it’s about her. When it’s your turn, you’ll get to select dresses that match your personal style.
In the grand scheme of things, this is a dress you will wear once for a few hours and then never again. Apologize to your friend, suck it up, and wear the dress. At least it won’t break the bank, and you can sell it or donate it as soon as the wedding is over.
Wondering if you’re a bridezilla (or a bridesmaidzilla)? Submit your questions to jennifer@bridesofli.com. All submissions will be kept anonymous.
